Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each edition here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

 1. Cremation Ceremony for Ned Haywood, Paul’s Father

 2. Goodbye to the Silver Dollar Bar in Washington Square After a Quarter of a Century

  3. All Expat Asia Pool Challenge October 28-29, 2011 in Jakarta, Indonesia

 4. Is the Dadgum RAINSY SEASON Coming Already???

 5. Big Ken’s *Other* Son’s Coming Out Ceremony

 6. “Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter” (Just to Lighten the Mood a Moment)

 7. More Photos of the Texas Lone Staar’s Wall Memorabilia

 8. An All-Too-Quick Visit with Dean Barrett

 9. “But MY L’il Noi’s DIFFERENT!”

10. Gary of Loei,  Ken the “Krazy Kanuck,” and “Asia” Lynn, at the Silver Dollar of the Bar’s Penultimate Day

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Cremation Ceremony for
Ned Haywood, Paul’s Father

The ceremony last Saturday was well-attended; I counted 55 people, including Paul and myself. Many of those at the ceremony went onto the Moonshine Pub for a sort of Irish wake, except held post ceremony. Many others who went to the Moonshine hadn’t been to the ceremony, and I quickly lost track of how many there hadn’t been to add to the overall count for the day’s two events, as people were coming and going in a steady stream, though when I gave up, around 40 people were or had been there, about a third or maybe half of whom hadn’t been out at Wat Thepleela.

I’ve uploaded about 20 photos and 1 short (10-second) unusual video of a feature in the wat though not directly associated with any one ceremony to my Flickr account, where they are available for any of you to view. The link is here (which you may have to copy then paste into your browser’s address bar):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/89344431@N00/sets/72157628980224641/

The video is of what turns out to be a robot, or mechanized mannikin, of a figure, apparently a man, with unkempt hair and a somewhat skeletal appearance to his face repeatedly performing a deep wai, the traditional Thai greeting and show of respect. I’ve never heard of, read about, or seen this before, nor had the two or three Thais I asked, all lifelong Buddhists. (This was outside on the walkway running along the front of the building housing several salas.)

In any case, both the ceremony went well, with many well-wishers on hand.

Goodbye to the Silver Dollar Bar in
Washington Square After a Quarter of a Century

Yes, by the time you read this, Silver Dollar will be about to pass into memory, as it will close at the end of business on Saturday, January 28, 2012.

It will be joining the other places that have already gone to that Great Washington Square in the Sky: Texas Lone Staar, Wild Country, and Cat’s Meow, along with the now-gone Garden Spa, Sazanka Spa, and Bourbon Stret.

I first discovered Silver Dollar — and the Square — in November or December, 1994, just a few months after I moved here from my previous Asian Abode, Macau. That was back in the Bobby Toomb’s day, and I immediately liked the place, from which I explored the Square and came to know the legendary George Pipas of Texas Lone Staar and Doug Harrison of Bourbon Street, along with The affable Khun Riam of Wild Country and her now-long-gone husband, Jerry, as well as the lovely Khun Meow at Cat’s Meow, back then called “No Probl’m.”

Which the Silver Dollar won’t be, not anywhere, at least not anytime soon. Besides still having to continue to deal with the flooding of their home late last year, they’ve been busily shuttling stuff out of here from upstairs so that once they close the doors they won’t be left in a dead rush trying to empty out the several-floor shop house. Besides, they have their other residence, the Moonshine in Jomtien, and their Thai restaurant in Houston. Though relatives manage the other two businesses, the places aren’t attention-free, of course.

Starting at 6:00 P.M. or so Saturday, a keg will be opened and the beer will be free as long as the keg lasts.

My buddy Tobin, a.k.a. “Robot-y,” called me this morning (Tuesday) to say he’s scheduled to fly up to China next Monday and had planned just to fly down from Chiang Mai sometime Sunday evening before heading on up to Tianjin. But he plans to fly down late Friday night or maybe Saturday morning instead, as he really like the Silver Dollar and wants to be here for it’s last day.

I’ll be taking photos the next few days, including of the memorabilia on the walls, a few of which I plan to take to a copy shop to scan into my thumb drive.

Lots of memories here, and this is gonna be a tough one for me personally, as would have been the Texas Lone Staar, in particular, had I been able to be here instead of stuck in the U.S. when it closed. And Wild Country and Cat’s Meow sure as heck would have been tough enough themselves.

They may re-open elsewhere sooner or later, and I just hope they do, and soon — preferably somewhere in the vicinity. I don’t mean on Soi 22 (though that would be GREAT), but at least somewhere in, say, the rectangle I jokingly say marks the only neighborhood in which my retirement visa here is valid — between Petchburi Road on the north and Rama 4 Road on the South, and Soi Thonglor (and an imaginary southern extension of it to Rama 4 Road) on the east and Soi Asoke and Ratchadapisek Road (the latter between Sukhumvit Road and Rama 4 Road) on the west!

But REALLY . . .

Big time . . .

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Click on Richard's Picture to Go to His Website with His Writings

Burma Richard’s Website Doesn’t
Have an Image Banner Yet, So I Took
This Picture from the Site and Made It a
Direct Link to the Homepage. Just Click and Go.

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All Expat Asia Pool Challenge
October 28-29, 2011 in Jakarta, Indonesia

I got an e-mail reporting on this event, of interest to some Squaronians and others interested in darts, since several of the bars along Soi 22 and in Queen’s Park Plaza a number of “Plaza Heads” and “Soi 22 Drifters” are members of various bars’ teams in the neighborhood.

I got the following e-mail reporting on the event at the beginning of November — but kept forgetting — from one Klaus A. Marek (a.k.a. “Jack”), with whom I’m not acquainted, as far as I know, but to whom I’m quite thankful. A few pictures follow the text, which is,

Hi Kurt
here a few words to the Jakarta Pool Event last week. Attached also some photos.

Born out of an idea over a beer between Mark D (Bangkok) and Brian Piggott (Jakarta) 5 month ago to bring 6 players from Bangkok to Jakarta and have a game in a pub an event was developed with about 150 participants. The location was the ballroom at the Arion Swissotel Jakarta with 4 Guinness Championship Pool tables, international referees, film teams and excellent service staff.

On the 28th/29th Oct. 48 Bangkok Expats (Members of the Bangkok Pool League) traveled to Jakarta to meet the Jakarta All Stars (about 50 of them) for the first All Expat Asia Challenge 2011 and Team BANGKOK was bringing back the trophy, which will remain in Bangkok until Jakarta or some other Asian city can make it to Bangkok next year and take it away from us.  The score was 20-20 after the first round, and 41-39 in our favor after round 2.  Team BANGKOK made it’s move in round 3, taking a 54-46 lead, and finished with a 61-53 win.

A few people had to cancel out of the trip at the last minute because of the floods, but the 48 that made it proved to be enough to win the day.  Team JAKARTA was a great side, and even greater hosts.  They went overboard in making everyone on Team BANGKOK feel welcome.  They laid out the red carpet for us, wined us, dined us, and exceeded all the expectations we had.  They are a wonderful group, and we salute them.

Team BANGKOK came not only with their game, but a great attitude that made the event much more than a pool tournament. They partied hard, played hard, and came together as a team when it was needed.  The win, and the overall success of the event belonged equally to every one of those that came, and we salute them as well.  They did the league, the sport, and the City of Bangkok proud.

We think all those involved on both sides would agree that it was a truly magical event that they all were proud to have been a part of.  The work done over the last 5 month by people in both Jakarta and Bangkok to organize and stage the event was well worth it.  The end result was more than we envisioned, and that was due mostly to the great attitude that both teams brought to the event.

22 different nationalities (no locals) were represented by the participants, a real Expat event.
The Plaza and Washington Square were represented by Hideaway Pub, Sport 20-2, Moonshine, Mash, Classic Club, Corner Bar and Sportsman.
Everyone was having an absolute blast, and the competitive spirit was just sensational.

Cheers
Jack

And the pics:

Team Bangkok Picture 1

Team Bangkok Picture 2

Trophy

(Sorry; the quality’s insufficient for me to adjust the size of the three smaller shots so they appear larger — they get blurry.)

It seems as if it was a great event, with fun had by all.

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Click on the Banner to Go to
Christopher G. Moore’s Website

Is the Dadgum RAINSY SEASON Coming Already???

It sure as heck seems like it. I’m sitting in the Silver Dollar, and about an hour ago I was working on this column on the bar’s computer when the power went off a few seconds, came back on for a couple of minutes, then briefly went back off before going off a few more seconds then coming back on another couple of minutes, and finally going off for about 20 minutes.

Why? It was raining, for pete’s sake. And this is supposed to be the dry season, moving from the cool into the hot season — but not the monsoon one.

About two weeks ago, it rained all night at my apartment after sprinkling and lightly raining off and on throughout the day. By morning, the rain was coming down pretty good.

Here’s a snapshot of the rain earlier today:

I think you can just make out the splashing at the lower end of the picture.

In any case, we DANGED sure don’t want another one-in-60-years flooding scenario AGAIN. In this neighborhood, as regulars readers will recall (if they weren’t here themselves anyway) that we didn’t flood, but we might not be so lucky next time. Gulp.

Late Note: It’s Friday morning now, and when I got up a little before 7 o’clock, it started raining fairly hard about two minutes later. Unbelievable for this time of year. Kept up about half an hour, then quickly tapered off.

Big Ken’s *Other* Son’s Coming Out Ceremony

Awhile back I wrote a short bit about Big Ken’s son’s graduation ceremony from his initial military training, a ceremony which in the British forces is called a “coming out ceremony.” Now I have pictures of his other son’s, so without further ado, here they are:

Ken’s Son Is the Tall Lad in the Front Rank

Ken’s Other Son and Ken

Despite Ken’s apparently not-so-happy look, don’t kid yourself; he’s so pleased he can hardly stand it! And proud as proud can be, as he well should be; his sons are turning out to be most excellent young men, and their willingness to serve Queen and country is just part of that. They are a tribute to their Father, by the way, one of the finest gentlemen it has ever been my pleasure and honor to know.

Well done!

“Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter”
(Just to Lighten the Mood a Moment)

I shall be kind and leave the guilty party from whom I got this anonymous, but it is funny. The title is mine, but the rest is either Guilty Party’s or some unidentified other source’s

“Two Fallen Angels of the Night Seek Salvation”

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: “Two Prostitutes — $50.00″A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: “JESUS SAVES.”

One of the girls asked the officer, ‘How come you don’t stop them?!”Well, that’s a little different,’ the officer smiled, ‘Their sign pertains to religion.’

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two hookers driving around with a large sign on their car.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:

Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter — $50

They’ve Put Down Their Sign in This
Photo as They Chat with, Um, “Someone”

Of course, in Thailand, no self-respecting Lady of the Night (or the Day, for that matter) would carry such a blatant sign.

After all, they scarce need to do so, except maybe for the oblivious (chuckle)!

(Guilty Party — that’ll be an Underberg next time we meet, My Friend!!! If I can FIND one, that is, LOL!)

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More Photos of the Texas Lone Staar’s Wall Memorabilia

Here a six more photos of stuff on the Lone Staar’s walls, none of which I know what happened to. (The first, second, and last ones may make Shrinking Violets blush a wee bit, but they’re quite mild, really.)

The Top One in Particular May Be Hard
to Read, So Here’s What the Three Signs Say:

LIFE IS LIKE A SHIT SANDWICH
THE MORE BREAD YOU’VE GOT
THE LESS SHIT YOU’VE GOT TO EAT

Because of the Glare from the Flash, I’m Not Sure Who
These People Are in the Main Center of Interest in This Photo

I’m Virtually Certain the Late
Pat Landry is the Man on the Left, and I Should
Remember Who the Other Two Are — But I Don’t

I Reckon Just About EVERYONE
Remembers the Unforgettable Gator,
Who Passed a Few Years Ago After Having
Lived in the Kingdom for Decades.
Burma Richard Took the Photo.

Josh Gaines Was Another Unforgettable
Squaronian and Old Thai Hand Going Back Decades,
Like Gator Did. Burma Richard Also Took This Photo,
One of the Best He Ever Has Taken of a Squaronian.

No Comment Needed Here!

And there you are, another half a dozen memorable pictures of the gone-but-never-forgotten Texas Lone Staar, all thanks to the ever-affable Randy R., to whom a huge thanks is due.

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Clicking on the Banner Will Take
You To the Website as Advertised!

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An All-Too-Quick Visit with Dean Barrett

Was sitting here when in walked Dean Barrett, another of Bangkok’s fine resident authors. He was able to stay only a short while, as he was en route to meet someone else, and when he said “a lady,” I gave it up since a skirt winds every time!

H said he has been down in Pattaya speaking (to a group, I mean, not whispering sweet what-nots and the like!) and sold a few books. Anyway, I took a picture of him lounging in a booth, the got beside him and had one of the ladies take one of the two of us:

As You Can See, He’s All Dressed
Up — for Steamy Bangkok, Anyway — for
His Hot Date; Do Note His “Dress Shoes”!!!

(Sorry ’bout that, Dean; when I noticed the shoes, I just couldn’t resist, LOL! Sure I’ve got sandals — but I’m not going for a hot date, either!)

Hm. I See We BOTH Have that Rasputin
Look — HE Looks More Rasputin-ish, Doesn’t
He? Just LOOK at Those Glittering, Beady, Crazy Eyes!

Well, it took the lady only three or four tries to get one; she kept releasing the button before the flash fired. (This camera is slow about that, to be fair.)

Dean’s one of the Good Guys, too, and has been a Squaronian for years. In fact, way back when, I was living above the Texas Lone Staar when Dean contacted me. We had never met, but he wanted to secure accommodation before making the move from New York to Bangkok, so I arranged with George to have a room at the place waiting on him. Of course, if Dean had finked out on me, I would have been left paying at least a portion of the bill, but I took a chance, and it paid off; we’ve been friends ever since.

An interesting man, he lived for years in Hongkong, where he wrote a column for the venerable South China Morning Post English-language newspaper, one of East Asia’s leading nones. (The name of his column escapes me, though I read it faithfully during my Macau years).

An excellent speaker of Mandarin Chinese, he was stationed in Thailand with the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War years, do such stuff as listening to China Central Television’s radio arm to thrilling stuff like the audio tracks of revolutionary operas and songs written directed by the late, unlamented Jiang Qing, wife of Chairman Mao; Wikipedia has this to say about her “artistic talents”:

Jiang Qing also directed operas and ballets with communist and revolutionary content as part of an effort to transform China’s culture. She dominated the Chinese arts, and in particular attempted to reform the Beijing Opera. She developed a new form of art called the Eight model plays which depicted the world in simple, binary terms: the positive characters (“good guys”) were predominantly farmers, workers and revolutionary soldiers, whilst the negative characters (“bad guys”) were landlords and anti-revolutionaries. The negative characters, in contrast to their proletarian foils who performed boldly centre stage, were identifiable by their darker make-up and relegation to the outskirts of the stage until direct conflict with a positive character.^[1] Critics would argue that her influence on art was too restrictive, because she replaced nearly all earlier works of art with revolutionary Maoist works.

Real sweetheart, huh?

He also listened “news broadcasts,” and when not otherwise engaged in useful military intelligence work monitored calls to place orders at pizza parlors in Japan, a critical piece of cultural and business intelligence keenly sought after by military intelligence, the CIA, and Pizza Hut. (He spoke some Japanese, too. Enough to get around Giza anyway, where all the ladies were fast becoming addicted to American-style pizza.) Off-duty, he constantly risked his Army career by swapping intelligence (and other stuff) with ladies of questionable virtue in various hot spots, but he managed to complete his enlistment without getting renditioned to whatever the equivalent of Gitmo was back then.

Anyway, it’s always great to bump into Dean — something that doesn’t happen so often these days.

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Just Click on the Banner to Go to
the Homepage pf Stickman Weekly

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“But MY L’il Noi’s DIFFERENT!”

This is a claim any Old Asia Hand has heard many a time, in some form or fashion, from Seoul to Singapore and around all of East and Southeast Asia.

For the newly-arrived, what this means is that a foreign guy — usually a Westerner — makes his virgin — no pun intended — trip to the Mysterious Orient on holiday, then hits the bar scene, where in many cases, the flesh trade is in full swing. He’s read the warnings: “You can take the girl out of the bar — but not the bar out of the girl,” “Don’t believe her when she says she needs 30,000 baht for an emergency operation for her Mother,” etc.

But Mr. Newbie meets some “L’il Noi” who sweeps him off his feet, and he decides he’s now more expert about the local bar scene (be it Bangkok, Bali, Beijing) than locals who are true Old Hands, and decides his L’il Noi is that one-in-a-million exception who genuinely has fallen head-over-heels in love with him. Never mind that he’s 68 and look 85, is stooped; and is as fashionably attired as a caveman who’s been on a spending spree in the men’s department in Paris or some such place; while that his L’il Noi is 22, is so beautiful she makes the angels sing and legions swoon, and could talk Scrooge out of a king’s ransom: she’s “DIFFERENT!“

Um, yeah. Right.

Even if she IS that one in a million, it isn’t due to anything about Mr. Witless, but divine intervention. Or something. But not him.

Well-respected web columnist Stickman has addressed this question in his latest column, “Low-Fat Stickman,” in his “Stickman’s Weekly” series, for the umpteenth time. (What local columnist or blogger covering the night life here hasn’t???)

It’s the very last item right at the bottom of the page. Stickman doesn’t take to fools kindly, and refuses to write in sweet, dulcet, dreamy tones suitable for a misty, moon-lit night on a lovely spring evening. He spits it out on the tundra under the harsh, merciless, clear light on a cold, cold day.

And he’s spot on.

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/StickmanWeeklyColumn2012/Low-Fat-Stickman.htm

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Gary of Loei,  Ken the “Krazy Kanuck,” and
“Asia” Lynn, at the Silver Dollar of the Bar’s Penultimate Day

Well, I’m at the Silver Dollar (surprise, surprise) and about three hours ago, Gary of Loei came in, so I broke to visit with him a bit while he was sitting with Ken the “Krazy Kanuck.” While we were chatting, “Asia” Lynn came strolling in. And so it went.

Gary Enjoying a Break from His Heavy Duties as Lord of Loei

Gary’s kept his Squaronian membership, despite pissing off and moving way upcountry to the remote province of Loei. While only about 350-400 kilometers NNE of Bangkok, it may as well be in one of the Magelleanic Clouds, or at least next to Tubbs Corner, Texas, the Facebook page for which list this information: “middle of nowhere.”  That’s it, no joke. But Tubbs Corner does boast the intersection of Farm-to-Market 1053 North and State Highway 329 — with a four-leaf clover intersection! And the two roads actually become divided — will wonders never cease? — for a few hundred feet to each side of the intersection! Imagine the fun on Saturday night, when all three locals gather to drink beer as they watch other drunk West Texans barreling off of or onto one of these majestic thoroughfares at 150km per hours — with a load of squealing pigs screaming bloody murder!

Actually, that would be high drama in Loei, but Gary thrives on watching grass grow, clouds form, sleeping, and Leo beer. But it sure was good seeing him again — and that really isn’t a joke. He’s a friend of many years, and always a delight.

He was chatting with Silver Dollar regular Ken, who’s pretty much a regular. He’s also nuts, but what can one expect of someone raised on a short stretch of the Gulf of St. Lawrence coast of the unnamed, 2-acre (.8 hectare, or to make it sound more impressive, 5-rai) islet immediately north of St. Paul Island, from which it is divided by a narrow sea waterway named “The Tickle” — another source names it “The Tittle, and the islet “North Island” — from St. Paul Island, which is itself north of the northern tip of Nova Scotia. (I’m not making up the unnamed islet, “The Tickle/The Tittle,” or St. Paul Island up; look ‘em up on Google Maps, for starters. Better still, go to www.stpaulisland.net — that’s right; the uninhabited island actually has its own website, and it’s surprisingly interesting.) Actually, Ken’s native rock — I mean islet — has a lighthouse, so it wasn’t completely uninhabited before automated lighthouses came into vogue.

It was a perfect place for Ken to grow up, as it both drove him crazy and taught him to put up with it simultaneously. What a deal, huh! He also didn’t have to worry about wild beasts, because neither St Paul Island or his native roc- — I mean “islet” — have any native land critters, though there are birds. And of course lots of fish in the sea. And he had a commanding view from atop the islet’s 125-foot/~41-meter mountain, except the region is shrouded with heavy fog much of the time, so all he could do was admire his hand in front of his face.

All that nonsense said, Ken is a really great guy.

Then along came Lynn, of whom I forgot to snap a pic as he, Gary, and I immediately got involved in animated conversation. He was biding his time while his lovely wife, Khun Nan, was shopping for new bed linens in the Emporium. (No big-box chain hypermart or roadside Thai open-air market, please!) As she is the type of lady to closely examine all 27 brands, 45 colors, and 162 patterns available in all there various combinations, Lynn fled, telling her, “you have the credit card; I’m going to the Square.” Unlike most wives, however, Nan graciously invited him to hit the road, plop down and wait, then she would call him when she was (damned good and) ready — !

Lynn’s another American whose life’s events some years ago back Stateside took a turn such that he decided to start afresh elsewhere. A successful businessman, he planted his roots in Asia, and has been somewhere on These Mysterious Shores for about as long as I have — a quarter of a century. And he’s not only still going strong, not only going from strength to strength, but doing better all the time. He’s become one of those “if it’s Tuesday, this must be Beijing” kind of guys. He’s universally well-liked, as is Khun Nan, welcomed by one and all any time at all. Everyone in this neighborhood just wishes he could get around more, but since they live out in the wilds of Paknam, it’s not so often he manages to get into town.

The three of us enjoyed a nice 2-3 hours together, joined late by the ever-friendly Nigel, who likes to come in from ruling over ruffians, rascals, rogues, and reprobates at his [truck] yard way out towards Chonburi or some other godforsaken place. (Anyplace outside the boundaries of my visa — Petchburi Road between Soi Asoke and Soi Thonglor, Rama 4 Road likewise, and the two aforementioned sois is “Out There in the Great Murk” to me.)

What a wonderful time we had. . . .

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Coming up on 9:00 P.M., and I’ve gotta post this.

Damn. The very last column I’ll write at the Silver Dollar.

I sure do hate endings, doggone it all.

Oh — I’ll be here tomorrow, taking pictures, blabbing, etc. And I’ll enjoy it . . . while it lasts.

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Enough for one go . . .

Mekhong Kurt

SAD NEWS: ANOTHER SQUARONIAN LEAVES THE SCENE

Here’s the announcement of the passing of Ned, Father of “English” Paul on my Facebook page Tuesday and here on Wednesday morning, but many of you may not have seen it yet. Please help spread the word, late in the day as it is — the cremation isn’t until Saturday afternoon at 3:00 P.M. (Full details below):

Ned Holding His Birthday Cake at the Party at Moonshine on His 75th Birthday

Details for cremation of Ned, Paul’s Father: Wat Thepleela, Ramkamhaeng Soi 39 (Pracha Uthit Road) at 1500/3:00PM Saturday, January 21st. He is in Sala 3; look for signs. The wat is located directly on your right coming from Ramkhamhaeng Road just as you reach Khlong Saen Saeb. From the Square-Queen’s Park Plaza area, there are several possibilities to reach the wat. One is to take Soi Asoke, Sukhumvit Soi 39, or Soi Thonglor (Sukhumvit Soi 55) from Sukhumvit Road up to Petchburi Road, just across Khlong Saen Saeb then turn right (east) and continue until you come to the Petchburi-Ramkhamhaeng-Sukhumvit Soi 71 intersection — Soi 71 turns into Ramkhamhaeng Road at Petchburi. Turn left (north) there.

You also can go along Sukhumvit Road to Sukhumvit Soi 71 at the Phrakanong intersection and turn left (north) all the way to Ramkhamhaeng Soi 39.

Coming any of those four routes, at Ramkhamhaeng Soi 39, turn left again and start watching oon your right almost immediately — it’s not far to the wat.

I know there are many public buses plying all those roads, except Sukhumvit Soi 39 (which, by the way, you can reach by going up Soi 31; it intersects Soi 39 — turn left. Or go on Sukhumvit road to Soi 39 that way.), but I haven’t the slightest idea which ones to take — there may even be one that goes all the way from in front of the Square.

You can locate the wat on Google Maps and in Google Earth by typing in “Wat Thepleela” in the search box. In Google Earth, you’ll also get a result at the same time for the wat’s pier — an alternative way of reaching it.

You can take a khlong taxi from anywhere along the entire length of Khlong Saen Saeb that has the taxi service and get off at the temple itself.

Of course, some prefer tuk-tuk’s and motorcycle taxis, and you can easily get there using either of those (though from here the fare might be higher than in a regular car taxi).

Here’s a very good map at a website I had never heard of; it apparently uses Google technology. The link below takes you to a satellite image with the wat marked by a red pointer with a black dot exactly in the middle of the view, with the wat’s grounds outline is bright blue. Streets are also clearly marked. There is the option to see a plain map by clicking on the “Map” button in the upper right corner of the image.

http://www.soidb.com/bangkok/sacred/map.html?nk=wat-thep-lila

SoiDB – Bangkok – Landmark – Sacred Building – Map

www.soidb.com

Bangkok Map – Sacred Building. The coverage includes Temple, Church, Mosque, Chinese Shrine.

Submit materials to: squaronians [at] gmail.com

Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each edition here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

1. Happy Birthday to My Mother, and Bits and Pieces about the Area Where She was Born

2. Robert Takes a Ride — a Long, Long One: 4,000 Kilometers!

3. Fat Fish Bistro on Sukhumvit Soi 31

4. Popeye Nick and Olive Oyl Ying Celebrate Their Birthdays — Back-to-Back

5. More from The Ever-Popular “Eye Candy Store”

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Happy Birthday to My Mother, and Bits
and Pieces about the Area Where She was Born

First of all, I want to send a birthday message to my Mother here:

Mom will be mumble-mumble-mumble years old next week, on January 24th. Last year was the first year since at least 1990 I was able to be there on her birthday, which I obviously won’t be this year.

Here’s a photo of Mom from the past:

Mom Holding Kurt Behind the House on
the Ranch in Aubrey, TX on November 6,1952

( Ain’t I just the cutest l’il tyke you ever did see??? LOL! MO-ther!!! Be quiet!!!)

Mom was born in the thriving little metropolis of Megargel, Texas. I couldn’t find any census data for it from those years, though the whole darned Archer County in which it is located “boasted” 7,599 folks in the 2000 census, so you get the idea that there weren’t many bright lights or Starbucks around.

Mergargel is situated on an example of a geological formation known in scientific terms as “uncharted wasteland” Actually, it is near somewhere, in the form of Archer City some 20 miles or so to the northeast, made famous in the 1966 semi-autobiographical novel by Larry McMurtry, except he used a fictitious name for the town, “The Last Picture Show.” The movie of the same name followed in 1971. McMurtry is perhaps better known for his 1961 novel “Horseman, Pass By,” adapted to film as the classic “Hud,” and his other novels such as “Lonesome Dove,” on which the TV miniseries and film are based, “Streets of Laredo,” a sequel of sorts to “Lonesome Dove,” and his works that are the models for other movies, such as “Terms of Endearment.” He actually was born in Archer City and grew up on a ranch outside town.

So, Megargel gets a bit of Archer City’s reflected glory. Since Megargel has only 203 people in 2010 (I think — don’t know if the source is reliable) — Archer City is enthralling with its throngs numbering upwards of 2,000!

But when the locals really wanted to go wild, they’d head out for Wichita Falls some 39 miles away to watch cars zip by on the U.S. Highway 82. Of course, since nobody in Megargle had a vehicle, 38 miles was a daunting trip on a mule. (Who in heck could afford horses?) That made places like Fort Worth, about 80 miles southeast, or Dallas (135-140 miles also to the southeast, east of Fort Worth, distant Shining Cities on the Hill. (I think the reason Mom called me “you little jackass” until I was maybe just 27 was because of those mules. And it’s HER fault I thought “Little Jackass” was my legal name for years.)

On a more serious note, just as McMurtry painted a sometime bleak, dark picture of life in West Texas, A. C. Greene’s brilliant “A Personal Country,” an autobiographical work about a region outside of which Megargel lies, really, it captures the spirit of such Texas places in a softer, though unsentimental, light (The division between it and East Texas really is as sharp as a knife and essentially demarcated by I-35, about 10 miles east of which I grew up so know the area well.)

Those people are tough. And that frontier toughness shows clearly at least right down through my Mom’s generation, and in many instances, right on to today. Life has dealt Mom some winning hands, true — but it also has holding five deuces, or with her wanting to play Solitaire — with a deck of 51.

She’s a remarkable, wonderful lady, one it is my privilige and pleasure to call “Mom.”

Again — Happy Birthday, Mom.

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Robert Takes a Ride — a Long, Long One: 4,000 Kilometers!

Squaronian Robert came strolling into Silver Dollar today (Monday) decked out in his colors, just returned from a for-the-heck-of-it motorcycle tour of 4,000 kilometers (or about 2,500 miles, for the metric-challenged). He agreed to pose with his Harley Hog that carried him all over Isaan, up to the furthest northern reaches of the Kingdom and westward to the Burmese border.

Robert with His Harley in Front of Silver Dollar
After Just Returning from a 4000 Kilometer Road
Trip All Over Northern Thailand, Monday, January 16, 2012

Of course, Robert was moaning and whining about being sore all over, but considering he and his friends covered a lot of ground in just a few days, I suppose it’s understandable that he would. On the other hand, it’s stuff like that I don’t do that kind of stuff. I figure I’m going camping if I take a plane or train somewhere, with a driver and a nice comfortable car to meet me, and at the very least a comfy three-star hotel awaiting me!

Didn’t get a chance to talk with him more that in passing about his road trip, but maybe I can convince him to either sit with me awhile and fill me in on a trip report or write a summary one himself he’ll let me use. I’m sure it’ll me a thrilling tale of hair-raising, heart-stopping, soul-chilling “adventure” since we are, after all, talking about the strip casinos of the linear kind in the form of Thailand’s highways and byways, all populated by mad, murderous Thai drivers uniformly intent on running over as many foreigners on Harleys as possible. (Though anyone will do, as the terrible accident rate here proves.) I’m on full alert walking out of the car park at my apartment building, for pete’s sake . . . !

Robert is one of those guys who really likes Harleys. I asked him if he bought the beauty in the photo here or imported it. He said he first sold his other three he had at the time, then bought this one here. So, where on earth did he keep three Harleys? — Why, considering his work and travel schedule, of course he kept one in Australia, another in Singapore, the third in Malaysia!

Harley riders are a breed apart, and I mean the nice guys and gals, not the Hell’s Angels and people like that (though some of those chapters, rather surprisingly, do indeed do nice civic work, to their credit). Some Harley devotees remind me of Mayan calendar people, except they’re (the Harley folks) to something wonderful: an excellent, iconic, beautiful motorcycle — not some fruitcake idea (that would be the Mayan calendar folks).

And Khun Robert is about as fine and nice an example as you’ll find, though Aussie York merits a mention in that regard as well.

Robert & Friends have updated the “Easy Rider” image to a more accurate one (for us aging folks) of “Aching Riders”!!!

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Fat Fish Bistro on Sukhumvit Soi 31

Burma Richard has been raving about this new bistro, and now has eaten there two or three times. So, I decided to try it last night (Thursday).

The Bistro’s Street-Side, Lighted Sign Out Front

The place is very easy to find. Coming from Sukhumvit Road, watch on your right; the sign is readily visible as it sits perpendicular to the soi. It’s near the Green Route; if you see the Euro Grande Bangkok Hotel there on the corner, you’ve gone too far! Here’s a a link to the Google Map of the Fat Fish’s location on the website. There’s also a good photo of on the Fat Fish Bistro homepage. (For some reason, although I’ve downloaded the picture, my hosting services editor doesn’t list in the picture files for that drive — though it does the two I took myself last night, and others I’ve also saved from the Internet. Go figure.)

There is curbside street parking on both sides, and immediately past the bistro there is a small car park adjacent to it.

All the relevant info is clearly available at the very well-designed website, so I’ll point you to it for hours, the menu, etc. There’s also a photo gallery, but it’s almost entirely of the food, so I took an interior shot myself:

Fat Fish Restaurant Sign on Sukhumvit Soi 31

I really like the interior, especially the ceiling. While the front isn’t all glass, from many of the tables there are nice views outside. There also is a second entrance, which is behind me in this photo. It opens onto the car park, handy for smokers since there’s no smoking inside. I took a shot of the front from across the soi, but it came out too dark, so I dumped it.

This isn’t a place to drop by for a quick, cheap lunch. No, it’s not some over-the-top 5-star place somewhere such as Tokyo, Beijing, London, r even here in Bangkok. However, it’s not a place I will visit frequently, though the food, service, and ambiance were all excellent, so I will go once in awhile.

I ordered duck breast with orange sauce ~430 baht/~US$13.50 (about which more in a minute), two oysters on the half shell(280 baht/~US$8.75, and a Bombay gin with tonic (200 baht/~US$6.25) PLUS a 10% service charge and 7% VAT one. By the time I paid it, I paid about 1,100 baht, counting my small extra tip — two people waited on me, and both were very, very good — or about US$35.00, maybe a little less. I comforted myself with this thought: in 1979, I went to a fancy-dancy seafood restaurant in Dallas were one of my Air Force ROTC classmates and fellow close-order drill team members was working and had flounder (a small portion) with shredded crab on top (and not much). That also, coincidentally, cost me US$35.00 — but in 1979 dollars; in 2011 dollars (the latest I can find, that’s nearly US$108.50!!! (That was literally a once-in-a-lifetime dining experience for me, count on it! Unless you’re paying!)

I mentioned the duck breast. The waitress brought me a small blackboard with what I took to be evening specials — they do offer a set lunch — though the website doesn’t say anything about it. That was where I saw the duck breast with orange sauce, but for 240-250 baht. The menu duck breast was listed at 420 or 430 baht in the physical regular menu I read (though on the *website* one it shows at 380 — I just double-checked). At the very least, the difference is 170 baht, based on the prices I saw in the restaurant, or about US$5.35. That’s a substantial difference, particularly considering the extra 17% I had to pay in service charge and VAT, another 30 baht or so, making the difference around US$6.30 — ~200 baht — in all. When I asked about it, the waitress said that was the correct price.

Since I thought maybe I had misunderstood the blackboard menu, I left without further comment. But that extra is substantial, in percentage terms — over 22%, based on the should-have-been about total of around 935 baht/US$29.65. Mistakes happen, so I won’t refuse to go back over that, but I will be much more attentive next time I go. Heck, eating street food, I can eat for 2-3 DAYS for 200 baht!

All that said, the duck breast portion was generous enough I took enough home to get at least one sandwich out of, maybe two, or a couple of servings of rice and duck with veggies or some such.

If money is of concern to you, confirm the prices first.

But I do recommend you try the place if the menu appeals to you at all.

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Popeye Nick and Olive Oyl Ying Celebrate Their Birthdays — Back-to-Back

Nick and Ying each had a birthday last weekend, Nick on Saturday, Ying on Sunday.

Being bar owners, they got an early start at midnight Friday, though I didn’t know anything about the events until I wandered in Saturday. Though I also didn’t make it back for Ying’s Sunday, I know Nick was having a grand time of it from the time I walked in until the time I left — and that was early.

He later told me the party went way into the night — with an encore Sunday night!

(No, I didn’t ask how old either of them are. Old enough to be legal, ’nuff said.)

Here are a few photos — though none of Ying, whom I planned to snap Sunday night.

Nick on His B’day at Olive Oyl Saturday, January 14, 2012

Another of Nick on His B’day with B’day Cash

Notice the glint in his eye as he actually fondles some money with his right hand!!!

“Connecticut” Bill, a.k.a. “Ballsy Bill,” and Naughty Nick

And Another of the Bad Boy Duo!

Never fear . . .

Mekhong Kurt Self-Indicting with Nick
Filing the Scene Away for Future Blackmail!

We Prefer to Think of Ourselves as “Los Tres Caballeros”
Rather Than as “The Three Desperados” or Worse Still,
“The Over the Hill Gang”!!! ThankYou VERY Much!!!
(“Los Tres Caballeros Means “The Three Gentlemen” and
Was the Name of aPopular Trio in Mexico Half a Century or So Ago.)

A tardy Happy Birthday to you both, Amigos!

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More from The Ever-Popular “Eye Candy Store”

Decided I should insert something unpolluted with hairly-leg guys, so here you go (though there is a bit more):

A Bar Lady I know. Picture Taken January 15, 2012

Well, I’ve tried to upload three more pictures, but apparently my hosting service limits me on how many graphics I can upload in any one column.

It’s 9:00 P.M. Friday night anyway, so I’ll shut ‘er down for this week.

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Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

Ned passed away last Friday night late or early Saturday morning. His passing was quite unexpected, so came as a shock, though Paul is holding up well.

Below is a copy of the Facebook posting I made yesterday. I thought about making a special posting here then, but decided not to, then this morning changed my mind, so here it is:

Details for cremation of Ned, Paul’s Father: Wat Thepleela, Ramkamhaeng Soi 39 (Pracha Uthit Road) at 1500/3:00PM Saturday, January 21st. He is in Sala 3; look for signs.

The wat is located directly on your right coming from Ramkhamhaeng Road just as you reach Khlong Saen Saeb.

From the Square-Queen’s Park Plaza area, there are several possibilities to reach the wat.

One is to take Soi Asoke, Sukhumvit Soi 39, or Soi Thonglor (Sukhumvit Soi 55) from Sukhumvit Road up to Petchburi Road, just across Khlong Saen Saeb then turn right (east) and continue until you come to the Petchburi-Ramkhamhaeng-Sukhumvit Soi 71 intersection — Soi 71 turns into Ramkhamhaeng Road at Petchburi. Turn left (north) there.

You also can go along Sukhumvit Road to Sukhumvit Soi 71 at the Phrakanong intersection and turn left (north) all the way to Ramkhamhaeng Soi 39.

Coming any of those four routes, at Ramkhamhaeng Soi 39, turn left again and start watching oon your right almost immediately — it’s not far to the wat.

I know there are many public buses plying all those roads, except Sukhumvit Soi 39 (which, by the way, you can reach by going up Soi 31; it intersects Soi 39 — turn left. Or go on Sukhumvit road to Soi 39 that way.), but I haven’t the slightest idea which ones to take — there may even be one that goes all the way from in front of the Square.

You can locate the wat on Google Maps and in Google Earth by typing in “Wat Thepleela” in the search box. In Google Earth, you’ll also get a result at the same time for the wat’s pier — an alternative way of reaching it.

You can take a khlong taxi from anywhere along the entire length of Khlong Saen Saeb that has the taxi service and get off at the temple itself.

Of course, some prefer tuk-tuk’s and motorcycle taxis, and you can easily get there using either of those (though from here the fare might be higher than in a regular car taxi).

Here’s a very good map at a website I had never heard of; it apparently uses Google technology. The link below takes you to a satellite image with the wat marked by a red pointer with a black dot exactly in the middle of the view, with the wat’s grounds outline is bright blue. Streets are also clearly marked. There is the option to see a plain map by clicking on the “Map” button in the upper right corner of the image.

http://www.soidb.com/bangkok/sacred/map.html?nk=wat-thep-lila

SoiDB – Bangkok – Landmark – Sacred Building – Map

Submit materials to: squaronians [at] gmail.com

Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each edition here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

1. Whooping for Washington Square

2. Thailand’s International Children’s Day is Saturday, January 14, 2012

3. Various Travel and Hotel Promotions in Early 2012

4. Chinese New Year Is Just Around the Corner!

5. Upcoming Film Festivals in Thailand

6. “The Wisdom of Beer . . .” (by Christopher G. Moore)

7. Khun Kanit in His Fancy Nehru Jacket

8.  Gary A., “Shadow Farang Advisor” to the Governor of Loei, Descends from His Lofty Province to Grace the Square with His Majestic Presence!

9. And from “The Eye Candy Store” . . .

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Whooping for Washington Square

Now this truly is An Idea for Our Times I ran across reading a story that has absolutely zilch to do with Washington Square or Squaronians, or even Bangkok. In fact, it has zero to do with this part of the world at all.

But as I read the story, I started think, “There’s gotta be a link here somewhere. . . . hmmmm. . . .”

The it hit me, as ye shall see.

Here’s the short version of the story I read.

A non-profit group called Operation Migration in the U.S. and Canada has been working for several years to teach a given year’s new batch of the endangered whooping crane chicks a new, eastern migratory route from their northern summer nesting grounds across North America to their southern winter ones. this is both harder and easier than seems at first blush.

Harder, because newly-hatched whooping cranes “imprint” — bond with — the first thing they see and hear. The group has to make sure those first sights and sounds are a person — dressed in a bird suit — who is purring, as parent whooping cranes do to their hatchlings, while the low sound of an ultralight airplane is playing.

Whooping Crane Hatchling Still in a Partial
Egg Shell (Ugly Little Sucker, Isn’t It? Reminds
Me of Newborn Human Babies, Which Look Like
They’ve Been Pickled in Mildly Acidic Water for Weeks.)
Photo Credit: USGS Patuxent Wildlife Research Center’s Report 22 in Its Photo Gallery

Now to this story’s title. It’s simple addition:

   1 Squaronian
+ 1 Ultralight Airplane
+ 1 Bird Suit                                                
Whooping It Up for Washington Square!

Or, in graphical terms:

Take one Squaronian . . .

. . . then add one ultralight airplane . . .

(See? — this is an actual photo from Operation Migration of one of its ultralights and a bird-costumed pilot teaching firt-time migrating whooping cranes their migratory route!)

. . . and, finally, add the Squaronion’s flight suit . . .

And now you have “Whooping It Up for Washington Square”!!!

Well, okay, so we don’t have whooping cranes in Thailand, but mai pen rai (that means “never mind” for the uninformed!).

Pigeons. we have millions of pigeons. In fact, I think we have gazillions of the doggone things, most of which seem intent on dropping poop bombs on unsuspecting Squaronians’ heads. (“One gaziliion” = “bunches and bunches.”)

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Thailand’s International Children’s Day is Saturday, January 14, 2012

 Today’s (Thursday) edition of The Nation  has a nice little story headlined “Yingluck honours the young” about an awards ceremony led by Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra awarding plaques in recognition of achievements by over 700 Thai student academic excellence or bringing honor to the Kingdom internationally.

Yes, it’s another little “feel good story,” but it’s hard to knock recognizing youngsters for being very good in their studies or helping give Thailand a good name abroad.

On Saturday I intend to try to remember to give an extra-big smile to young people I see around the neighborhood, and telling them “hello” as I do so. Heck, for Old Thai Hands, smiling all the time is pretty much second nature anyway — it seems almost impossible to stomp around frowning when virtually all the Thais are grinning at us everywhere we turn! It’s infectious, and that’s nice. With all the crap going on all over the planet that worries us every single day, I love having an actual excuse — Children’s Day, in this case — to grin like a fool! (No snarky remarks!!!)

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Various Travel and Hotel Promotions in Early 2012

I again want to point you to an article in Thursday’s The Nation headlined “All aboard at Aloft” Aloft being a new hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 11. But the story summarizes a number of other promotions around the Kingdom as well as one in Bhutan and another in Vietnam.

As the summaries there are full while pleasingly concise, I won’t parrot the information here, but wanted to provide the link for anyone who might be interested in one or more of the packages described but is unaware of them.

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Chinese New Year Is Just Around the Corner!

One of the biggest traditional festivals of the year falls on January 23rd this year, a Monday, though the 15-day-long celebration will get an early start the day before.

The upcoming Chinese year is the Year of the Dragon, a particularly auspicious sign in the Chinese zodiac. Perhaps especially because “the Year of the Dragon” somehow sounds a little more . . . well, elegant than does, say, “the Year of the Pig” or “the Year of the Goat (or “Sheep”).” Even my own year, while not particularly awe-inspiring, sounds a little better than either of those two — mine is the Year of the Rabbit, which is the year just ending. To be fair, the years I listed are also sometimes known as “the Year of the Boar” and “the Year of the Ram,” both of which are somewhat better.

Here in Bangkok, as elsewhere across the region, we can expect countless dragon dance performances all over the place. Every year since I moved where I’ve lived the past six years,  troupes of dragon dancers come into the tiny car park — as early as about 7:00 A.M. A note: the dancers often downright expect donations; give one if you wish, but I’m rather resistant, as more times than not I haven’t been politely asked to make one, but pushed (verbally) rather rudely. Another note is that while you may see legitimate dancers a few days outside either end of the 15-day actual festival, those at different times of the year are likely downright scams. I mean, if children dressed in Halloween costumes were to show up on your doorstep trick-or-treating in, say, April, wouldn’t you’re alarm bells go off??? There may be exceptions, of course, and there are some other festivals that sometimes feature dragon dances, but as far as I can tell, they’re mostly associated with Chinese New Year.

This Chinese Dragon stopped off by
Washington Square a couple of year’s ago and
got lots of “treats” before heading on out to perform!

If you’re a big fan of whooping it up on New Year’s Eve, then you ought to love a number of countries in this part of the world. Thailand celebrates the Western New Year, the Chinese New Year, and Songkhran — Thai New Year! (Don’t worry — I’m not going to start griping about Songkhran — yet!)

Here’s a link to a very concise description of Chinese New Year and its history.

And here’s one to a considerably longer discussion of the astrological significance of the entire cycle.

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Upcoming Film Festivals in Thailand

Returning to The Nation for some more information, it has yet another story headlined “A flurry of festivals” about the several film festivals coming up in the Kingdom in coming weeks. Coming very few weeks, actually — the first one starts January 18th, while the last one finishes February 5th, just 19 days for the “season,” so to speak.

As the article points out, the overlap and crowding on the cultural calendar is primarily due to festivals delayed from last year because of the floods.

It also mentions that anyone wanting to see a variety of specific films at different festivals may have to do some particularly careful planning, especially considering that they’re won’t all be occurring close to each other geographically.

I’ve never been to any of them, but friends who have generally have enjoyed them. There certainly appears to be something for most people, regardless of preferences. Except for fans of hard-core porn (the kind that draws lengthy prisons sentences for those found possessing such stuff) and of true nuts into snuff films and the like (the kind of stuff that if someone’s caught with gets said nut a lengthy detention — in a mental facility in a locked room with nice, big, immensely strong white-suited attendants with “guide sticks” — electric cattle prods!!!.)

All else being equal, I imagine the schedule will return to normal in the next season, providing greater time for the numerous film festivals.

Anyone attending willing to share your impressions, please write me at squaronians [at] gmail.com. Pictures would be nice, too.

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“The Wisdom of Beer. . .” (by Christopher G. Moore)

. . . imparted to us by resident author Christopher G. Moore in this, his latest novel.

Released just days ago (January 9) “The Wisdom of Beer” departs from Chris’ frequent focus on his popular fictional American detective living in Thailand, Vincent Calvino, bringing us new characters to the familiar underbelly of Pattaya as Chris explores the dark side there, as he has previously.

Chris Sneaking a Look at Some of the Real-Life Models
for the Evil Characters Populating “The Wisdom of Beer”

Here’s the summary of “The Wisdom of Beer” from Chris’ website:

The annual Cobra Gold joint military operation arrives in Pattaya dumping thousands of US naval and marine personnel on the city. Russian Mafia and local Chinese-Thai gangsters decide this is a good time to rob a warehouse filled with war weapons. Duvel, a retired American, a caretaker for his aged Thai stepmother, also looks over the well-being of foreign expats as a member of the Pattaya Foreign Volunteer Police. Duvel, who leads a US Navy shore patrol down Walking Street, becomes entangled in the lives of criminals planning a warehouse heist. Meanwhile, Duvel’s mother, with the assistance of a macaw and a Moscow escort worker, slowly unravels the ancient secret formula of hell beer. As the double-crosses multiply, the fate of the heist and hell beer formula is in the hands of the winner of a Pattaya katoey beauty pageant.

Chris came strolling into the Silver Dollar yesterday as Burma Richard as I were blabbing; happily, Chris had an extra copy, so I promptly bought it (though I held back the mullah until after he autographed it!). I haven’t started it, but having enjoyed every single one of Chris’ titles — and he has penned roughly two dozen to date (the man’s prolific)X, that means he is consistently very, very good. I’m eager to get to it.

Over the years, Chris has become increasingly known not as a “mere novelist,” but also, increasingly, as a pretty darned good cultural expert, his expertise in penetrating, understanding, then “interpreting” it into the ordinary language of Everyman, even someone who has set set foot on any Asian shores, let alone Thailand’s. His various past experiences combine into a one greater than the sum of their parts: academic, lawyer, novelist, Thai speaker, and relentless pursuer, the last perhaps best revealed by his willingness to go in the dark, wee hours to the old Thermae’s, which was, indeed, an amazing place. (Every time I see Thailand’s now-former motto, “Amazing Thailand,” I immediately think “Thermae’s.”) Thermae’s must have been the model for the famous bar scene in “Star Wars”! I mean, the very first time I went in there, not knowing the score, I was rather uncomfortable when the bartender leaned over to get me a beer out of the box, and his coat fell open, revealing a large handgun in his shoulder holster. Of course, I had no idea the guy was not only a bartender but a police officer, nor that I had just made my first foray into a “Star Wars” bar. In fact, on that first little adventure — which I made a brief one — it was late afternoon and the place was completely empty other than the bartender and me, which left me wondering just what in hell people were ranting about when they carried on about how simply splendid a place it was. (You have to understand that in the context of Thermae’s, the word “splendid” had a unique meaning, a code). I hadn’t learned that the joint didn’t warm up until around midnight or even later.

Incidentally, it was in Thermae’s that Chris and I first met all those years ago. The late (and lamented) “Doctor” Dennis and I went down about midnight one night, and Chris came strolling in later. Dennis had met him several times before, so suggested we move over to chat with him. We did, and I liked Chris instantly as a person — I already knew and loved his work.

Chris’ works are available in bookstores here in Thailand, Asia Books and Kinokuniya, and overseas via online ordering, for which there are a number of sources, including his own website’s ordering page.

A number of Chris’ titles are available in at least one of quite a few other languages, too.

Then we come to the venerable Amazon.com, where many of Chris’ works are available, including for the Kindle reader (for many, though not all, his titles). See Amazon.com’s Christoper G. Moore page for more.

Chris is a mighty busy boy these days. He was down in Pnomh Penh a few weeks ago for the launch of one of his titles, and was due to fly out about three hours ago — departing at 8:00 A.M. or so this morning (Friday) to visit Rangoon. We spoke only briefly about this trip, so I don’t really know what all he plans to do, other than I do know Burma Richard, who hasn’t had a chance to get up there in quite awhile, is eager to hear what Chris reports (as I am, especially considering the extraordinary changes taking place in Burma). So at least part of Chris’ purpose is to get own-eyeballs-on-the-scene input. Soon, he’s off to France for a launch there, then later this spring to Argentina. I asked him about the outing from there, thinking the trip has to be one of those “days-in-the-air” affairs, and was quite surprised he located a flight on Qatar (I think it was that one he said) to Qatar — then non-stop to Argentina. I guess the airline must have it’s own in-flight refueling capability, with tankers stationed somewhere like Cape Verde, an island in the Atlantic a few hundred miles off the coast of Senegal! In any case, I bet after three days in the air anyway, he’ll land harboring a sneaky suspicion that he just qualified for astronaut wings having now arrived — finally — on the Moon!

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Khun Kanit in His Fancy Nehru Jacket

Khun Kanit doesn’t keep up with the latest fashions, I guess (like me), since as far as I know, these jackets are still popular only among Indians, particularly in Mother India itself. They’re pretty much identical to the Mao jacket that was the style until some years after Mao had departed his earthly coils.

I caught Kanit somewhat off-guard, giving
him just a second  before I snapped the photo.
Proprietess Tuk shrieked in protest — because
all she heard was me say (to Kanit) was “I have
my camera and want to take your picture.”

The occasion was “English” Neil’s birthday party, which, by the way, was very well-attended and a great success. Neil had some guy taking a gazillion photos, so rather than try to snap a few myself, I asked Neil if I could get a few later, to which he agreed, though I’ve not seen him since to give him my e-mail address. (Didn’t want to interrupt the festivities.)

Anyway, having managed to get a photo of Kanit for the first time in several years, I decided to get one of the two of us together, which Khun Tuk snapped:

YOU didn’t see what one of the barmaids
DID to MY BUTT a MILLISECOND before Tuk
tripped the shutter!!! So I don’t want to hear it!

I’ll be passing along pictures of Neil’s splendid birthday party as soon as I have them. He was so busy I got very little chance to speak with him, but will hear more about it next time I see him.  He’s a really, really nice Squaronian and a true Old Thai Hand, one who has been here longer than I have.

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Gary A., “Shadow Farang Advisor” to the Governor of Loei, Descends
from His Lofty Province to Grace the Square with His Majestic Presence!

Wednesday I stayed home all day, then around six o’clock decided to break and head up to the Square. En route, I realized I needed to hit an ATM, so I had the taxi stop in front of Queen’s Park Plaza, from where I started to turn to head back to the ATM outside the nearby Family Mart, but heard someone shout my name. I turned, and was delighted to see Gary strolling over with an American friend of mine (whose name escapes e at the moment). We agreed to meet at the Moonshine after I made my trip to the ATM.

Having not seen Gary in, quite literally, several years, I was truly delighted to see him. I had long ago lost his telephone number and e-mail address, so had no way to contact him. Heck, sometimes I wondered if he was even still kicking!

If you’re familiar with the layout of Thailand (or look at a map), you’ll see that while Loei isn’t all that far away from Bangkok, some ~400km/~250 miles north-northeast of the capital. But that’s straight-line distance, and the actual road route — yes, that silly boy DRIVES here! — is rather longer. Though the roads have improved considerably since Gary and his Missus settled there quite a few years back, it’s still not a run to the corner convenience store . And getting to the Square from anywhere outside Bangkok City itself, even the suburbs directly adjacent, can present challenges in itself, as traffic jams can start clear out in the next provinces — on occasion, even further than that — out.

So, when I asked Gary why he rarely comes to these parts nowadays, he pissed and moaned about the traffic — but let slip that since he still has his condo in Pattaya, he still goes down there regularly and fairly frequently, bypassing Bangkok, and, thus, the Square, of course. Prick.

Most readers who themselves are hairy-leg old guys can breathe a sigh of relief — for now — that I haven’t gotten any photos yet. But just you wait. . . . Gary & Co. — they were en route that night to pick up his friend’s brother, who was arriving from the States, and will be in Bangkok a few days before heading on down Pattaya way. I really sort of expected to run into them yesterday, but didn’t. Maybe today.

Gary’s another long-time Squaronian, and actually lived in the Square literally some years back. Circumstances have taken him back to the States for a few years, also a good while back (long enough that he’s finally pretty much fully recovered).

Gary and Missus actually have a few rai of land outside Loei, and Gary has discovered he enjoys being a Country Gentleman. Though he hails from Ohio, since it shares part of it’s state border with Kentucky, I expect that one of these days Gary will ask him to address him as “Colonel.”

However, I’m not so sure that’s the best honorific. Gary say his wife keeps some ducks, but the job of actually feeding and caring for the has devolved (since he’s lower in the domestic pecking order than she is, of course!)

I did a quick Google search to try to learn if there’s a formal name for someone who takes care of ducks, but didn’t find anything. After all, raising ducks is a profession for some people, just like raising horses and cows is, or sheep or pigs.

Unable to locate a proper title, I propose we immediately bestow upon him the unofficial rank of “Chief Mother Ducker.”

Sorry, Gary — really!

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And from “The Eye Candy Store” . . .

Dug in around in my archives of “Friends from Long Ago” and came of with this picture of a Lovely Lady I knew long ago then eventually lost contact with. For all I know, by now she has a herd of rug rats but is a single mother since whatever Somchai she married hit the road, most probably, if her own history followed a common, dreary path for way too many Thai ladies.

I genuinely liked her as a person — which I emphasize because I met her through my girlfriend of the day — and wish we hadn’t drifted apart, or at least that I knew what has become of her. I hope she is doing great, not in the unhappy situation I mentioned above. But to a photo of her:

Taken Near a Small Park on Sukhumvit Soi 49

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Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each edition here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

1. Welcome to 2012, “The Year of the Mayans”!

2. Richard Diran Turns “15″ Next Month!

3. Bill R. Loses to Telephone Techonology — but Makes Stunning Comback!

4. The “Serene of Surin”: Bear and Ma’am Glide into Town

5. Attention-Grabbing January Rain

6. Looking to Get Taken for a Ride — But In a GOOD Way? The Thai Government is Here to Help!

7. Lovisa of Luleå Returns from Her Christmas Holiday in Sweden

8. And for the Finale, Another Lovely Lady of Thailand Photo

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Welcome to 2012, “The Year of the Mayans”!

Well — off we sail into the new and uncharted waters of 2012 — “The Year of the Mayans,” as I mentioned in last week’s column. Makes you kind of feel like Magellan as he sailed past Tierra del Fuego at the southern tip of South America nearly 500 years ago, doesn’t it? Pushing into the unknown? Get all tingly and stuff? (Let’s do hope we fare better than the unfortunate Magellan, who met his fate in a battle in the Philippines, and whose fleet of five ships dwindled down to just one to make it back to Spain, from when they had sailed!)

Anyway, back to the Mayans a minute and their alleged prediction that the earth will come to an end this upcoming December 21st, which I originally transposed as the 12th, but a day or two later realized and corrected. At that time, I inserted a hilarious cartoon someone had just posted on their Facebook page that shows up on mine, one having to do with this Mayan stuff, so I decided to post it in this week’s column, too, since some of you probably read the column before I got around to doing that. With no further ado, here you are:

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I first saw that! Just think of the people who will blow tons of money and lots of their time doing stuff like going to some remote mountaintop to await The End. I read the other day that tourism authorities in Mexico and Guatemala are rubbing their hands in glee as they arrange Mayan-themed activities for near “Death Date.” (The Mayans thrived in the Yucatan area of southern Mexico and in Guatemala.)

I bet planes, hotels, and even cruise ships will be packed with old hippies, New Age dreamers, those eager to watch the fictitious Nibiru come smashing into the Mother Earth, others with with their compasses in hand so they can marvel when the magnetic poles flip — some of whom also believe the planet itself will flip 180 degrees, moving what’s now the north physical pole to where the south one is now, and, of course, vice versa — and religious zealots. Scientists, of course, have thoroughly debunked this stuff; for instance, if Nibiru were the size it’s claimed to be, about four times the size of Earth, it would visible to the naked eye now, and brighter than, for example, Saturn and Jupiter. (Wikipedia.com has a good article about Nibiru here.)

Among Squaronians, I suppose there may be a few old hippies and New Age dreamers, though if there are, I don’t suppose they’re the type to get into this stuff. Their interests are more immediate, earthly (or earthy, perhaps!), and much close to hand than some giant ball of rock speeding right at us, the Square set dead in its sights! As for inverting poles, about the only poles of interest to Squaronians are chrome ones in a-go-go joints and their own internal one — their sense of up and down. In the case of chrome poles, will 99.99% of the “dancers” one sees are “inspired” with nothing other than  a distinct lack of enthusiasm so do the boring “Chrome Pole Shuffle,” but on rare, rare occasion one does espy one actually interested in offering a performance, which may include her contorting herself so that she ends up feet on the ceiling, head to the stage, supporting herself with just her arms. I saw one do that once over on Soi Cowboy, and she was good. In the case of one’s internal pole, well, some Squaronians do indeed experience unplanned reversals in that department, usually after a quite festive few hours drifting around the Square, and end up physically inverted as well! At such moments, some have said, the think — if they still retain, um, “self-awareness” — of the Carole King classic, “I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet”! As for dreaming, most dream back to when they were young, dashing, debonair young men, when they enchanted that lovely, nubile, L’il Noi and were equally enchanted by her, wondering whatever happened to her (which is probably that she got married to some Thai guy who fled the scene after she told him the rabbit died before he had to spend any of the gobs of money she sweet-talked said Squaronian out of and then promptly handed over to her then-Thai-husband-to-be, who nowadays is a.k.a. “The Fugitive”).

Come December 20th this year, I imagine most Squaronians will be “practicing” for Christmas and New Year’s, no doubt entirely unperturbed by tomorrow, and looking forward to seeing everybody on the 21st and thereafter!

See ya around the 22nd!

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Richard Diran Turns “15″ Next Month!

Yep, that’s right, 15. Richard “the Relisher” finally gets to celebrate his birthday this year — for only the second time since 1996!

You see, Richard was born in a Leap Year — on February 29th, which of course means he can celebrate his birthday on its actual date only once every fourth year. “So why hasn’t he had three birthdays since 1996 instead of just two? — 2000, 2004,  and 2008?” you ask? Easy, actually, though not everyone knows this: the Leap Year that falls in a year ending with the numerals “00″ isn’t a Leap Year after all, so there was no February 29th in the year 2000. (The reason we don’t have Leap Years at the century mark is because to do so would eventually result in, say Christmas Day falling on the summer solstice (in the northern hemisphere, or winter solstice in the southern one. Trust me.)

Of course, that doesn’t mean Richard simply skips his birthday in the glum February 29th-free years; February 28th and March 1st work just fine in those years. (Though since he’s most assuredly not a creature of the night, seldom, if over, from pre-midnight on the 28th until post-midnight on the 1st.)

The really upside of actual birthday years for Richard is that since in the years in between, he celebrates on the date before or after, this year and every Leap Year he gets to accept congratulatory drinks for three days, instead of just two!

Candid Photo of Richard Working When He Was in a Hill
Tribe Region on the China-Burma Border Some Years Ago.

Unless a lightning strike gets him before February 28th, he’ll be gracing the Square that day and both following days to accept well-wishers telling him “Happy Birthday!” and graciously accepting the tribute, in the preferred form of vodka-tonics (or cold, hard cash will do).

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Bill R. Loses to Telephone
Technology — but Makes Stunning Comback!

Ran into Bill R. in the Silver Dollar Tuesday, and while he was fine generally, he moaned about losing telephone numbers from his phone — but only the first three under each letter of the alphabet.

Now that’s plumb weird.

While he couldn’t figure out away around an entirely different problem that looms — today is the end of his twp-week Christmas-New Year’s holiday — he did fool around with his phone a bit, and stumbled across the mysteriously-vanished missing names and numbers.

It seems “English” Paul recently showed him how to copy his stored numbers from his phone into his phone’s sim card, which is a good idea. That way, if for some reason you buy a new phone — other than losing the whole thing, sim card included, of course — you can just switch your sim card to your new phone and be in business. Then it’s a good idea to copy them from the newly-moved old sim card into the new phone itself.

Anyway, he got to fooling around doing that, but has discovered that while he has all the numbers — he thinks — after all, he’s going to have to figure out which phone book is a few numbers short, the one stored in his phone or on his sim card. Then he’ll have to hope he remembers how to copy them from there to the other phone book.

Note: I took the photo just before Bill made his comeback — thus the relatively glum look (especially for him). He sure was happier a few minutes later!

What he should have done is ask almost any of the ladies working in the bars, who are true experts on mobile phones (and money exchange rates!).

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The “Serene of Surin”: Bear and Ma’am Glide into Town

About 10:30 Tuesday evening I had decided to come home from the Square and walked at the the Soi 22 entrance to catch a cab, planting myself on the south corner of the entrance to await a passing one. Tired, I was looking forward to getting home, curling up with a good book for, oh, maybe 30 seconds, then calling it a day.

That little plan went right down the tubes when a taxi stopped a few feet away on my side of the road, next to Denny’s Corner. I was thinking that one its passengers had gotten out, I would hail the newly-empty taxi and blow right on him. However, Ma’am exited — and I did a double-take — then she shouted out “HELLO, KHUN KURT!” as Bear lumbered out behind her.

Their arrival was entirely unexpected on my part, so I was greatly delighted to see them, having missed them at the VFW Christmas party (which they had had to miss at the very last minute). dashed across the drive, of course, receiving a nice, big hug from Ma’am and a hearty handshake and greeting from Bear.

They were on their way down to the Kingdom’s Favorite Seaside Resort — Pattaya — today to take care of some personal business but having arrived in town only about 9:00 P.M. and booked to stay overnight at the Regency Park Hotel, after checking in they had gone directly to a restaurant for a late-ish supper and were on their way back to the hotel, themselves weary from a somewhat longer-than-expected bus ride from Surin. But we decided to head into Cheer’s Bar and Grill adjacent to the entrance of the hotel and visit a bit.

They had cleverly chosen to come to Bangkok yesterday confident that traffic would be light and they would trip right along the highways and motorways of Isaan right into the private bus terminus near the public-bus one at Mon Chit. However, for whatever reason, the traffic was heavy — I know banks were still closed yesterday for the New Year’s holiday, so I suppose other business, government offices, schools, etc. may have been — meaning Bangkokians returning from holiday somewhere upcountry were all flooding back into The Big Weird yesterday. ergo — heavy traffic. Instead of the usual 5-1/2 hours or so, the trip took eight hours this time, which surprised them, as they had made the trip before on that private bus service, and it was almost always precisely or very close to on-time every time before.

Other than the delay in arriving, they enjoyed the ride down. While I didn’t jot down the name of the company, they told me about the bus service, and it does sound indeed grand, so I’ll pass along some of that here. (I was too lazy to fish around in my book bag for a pen and something to write on.)

They said that other than the obvious difference of being on a bus instead of an airplane, the ride and service is essentially the same as on a flight with a good airline — right down to “stewardesses” and an on-board meal. The seats are excellent, and included built-in massage thingies, whatever a chair manufacturer has to install to allow someone to push a button to make the thing vibrate. The company has its own terminal here in Bangkok (not sure about in Surin — think it’s the company’s own lounge in the regular terminal there). Having it’s own terminal that has a passenger area more akin to an airport’s first-class lounge, according to The Serenities, sure sets its light years apart from the madhouse that is the Mon Chit Bus Terminal, a rather large affair with people rushing helter-skelter, hither and thither, here and beyond. (Having used the terminal once, I can definitely see the huge attraction of having an upscale alternative.)

About the only thing missing on the bus that most airliners have today is personal screens on the backs of the seats — though the company does have such buses, Bear said, and used to run them between Surin and Bangkok, but for reasons he doesn’t know, they stopped that.

But they weren’t complaining.

They’ll be coming back through with plans to visit around the square some sometime Friday, then heading back to the jungles to check on their resident monkeys, cobras and other assorted slitherers, the occasional passing pachyderms. (I’ll try to get a picture of the two of them to insert into this story, if I can do so before uploading; thought I had one, and that I don’t — at least not in this computer — shows I should have dug out my camera when I was with them — I did have it. Laziness again.)

But all the foregoing pales into insignificance compared to their big news, which involves Khun Bang, their 15-year-old daughter.

To put the following into some background perspective, let me say that when I first met Bang at Bear’s and Ma’am’s wedding just over 10 years ago, she could just barely speak English — and I do mean barely, as I doubt she knew as many as a hundred words back then. Further, as a little girl surrounded by a bunch of adults — a little Thai girl surrounded largely by big, alien-looking foreigners, at that — she was paralytically shy; getting her to say “Hello” was something!

She has thrived in every way ever since — to say she has truly blossomed into a fine young lady gets it precisely; she’s like a beautiful flower coming into full bloom as she begins reaching maturity. (Unfortunately, she was unable to come with Bear and Ma’am this trip — school.)

And the school bit leads tels in which she competed before geting eliminated from moving further up.o the news.

Last year, Bang entered an academic contest and at the Surin level and the next one up (don’t ask me; the political units here are many and confusing; think something like “county” or “parish” or “district” or some such), she did very respectably well, and in more than one subject, placing near the top in the levels in which she competed before missing out on advancing to the provincial level and beyond.

She decided to enter again this year, and to do so even more ambitiously: she signed up to compete in every single subject the competition involves, and that’s many — think of it as a multi-subject “spelling bee” on steroids.

And Bang really outdid herself, doing even better this year than she did last. She made it all the way to the regional competition — and placed quite, quite well, if not enough to move on to the finals at the national level.

She didn’t just place at all those levels — she placed in every single subject. While she didn’t come in first in any one subject, anyone can see that to place way up there across the board is even more impressive than it would have been for her to set even new global records in any single subject — a very, very good trick pony in such a case, but a one-trick one.

So, what did her achievement gain her? She placed 19th regionally — which, by the way, includes all the numerous provinces in Isaan, Thailand’s vast northeastern breadbasket — earning herself recognition from educational authorities in Bangkok (I suppose the Ministry of education, though Bear and Maam weren’t 100% sure of precisely the source) in the second-highest group, designated the silver level.

More important than that, practically speaking, is that she’s armed with solid documentation to apply to a top school in Surin, one that approaches up towards the quality of an international school here in Bangkok, home to most of the best such schools, though not every single one. She hasn’t received the official certificate yet that recognizes her achievement, but, then, we are talking about several layers of bureaucrats – bureaucrats in Thailand at that, so she won’t waste her time checking the mailbox daily for awhile — but, the record is there for one and all to see on a government website.

Not bad for a young lass who a short decade ago struggled to say, “Hello,” is it???

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Attention-Grabbing January Rain

Roughly 3-4 weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk one afternoon with my door open to allow a breeze to waft through when I was quite startled to hear a little sound outside that when I looked I realized was rain, startled because it had appeared the rainy season truly had ended. It didn’t last long, and at its heaviest was quite moderate, but it was unusual for it to rain so late in the year.

Well, imagine everyone’s surprise last night when it began raining. The evening of January 4th. It had been cloudy a couple of days during the day, itself unusual, though it had cleared up by early evening both days (nicely so; got to see Jupiter and the Moon shining brightly as they sailed along fairly close together).

I’m pretty sure that it didn’t rain during the cool or rainy season last year — I was here much of December — or the hot season (someone would have surely mentioned it). The last time it did so in roughly this time of year here in Bangkok was February 1, 2008. (How do I know? — because I wrote about it as my very first story in “The Rounds” I posted that week, that’s how. (So nyah, nyah!)

Naturally, memories of the still-recent disastrous flooding came to mind as the rain continued to fall, never more than light-to-moderate, but for several hours. I suppose it’s possible the rainy season this year could come early, but I don’t think anyone wants to see that — there still has been some rather heavy flooding in the Deep South, though that’s less unusual than rain here is. Don’t know if the filled-to-over-capacity reservoirs that posed a threat to the central plains — of which Bangkok is the focal point from all direction as waters drain towards the sea — though as far as I’ve heard, all the actual flood waters in this part of Thailand have finally drained away. (But it’ll be awhile before all the repairs can be done on those structures that were flat-out washed away or damaged too badly to be salvaged. I personally know people coping with ongoing repairs in their homes necessitated by the floods.)

It had stopped raining last night by the time I went beddy-bye, and it’s not raining now, nor is the pavement wet, so I guess it didn’t rain anymore overnight. It is, however, still overcast — so, we’ll see.

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Looking to Get Taken for a Ride — But In a
GOOD Way? The Thai Government is Here to Help!

The Bangkok Post  has a story today headlined “Get a ticket to ride anywhere: “Better transport is coming your way” saying the plan to integrate the current separate ticket systems for the various forms of mass transit here in Bangkok to make it more convenient for mass-transit riders to buy a ticket and plan their expenses.

The mass transit here includes the Skytrain, subway, buses and boats that ply the Chao Phraya River and numerous khlongs (canals) throughout the city and, increasingly, beyond.

Plans for the Skytrain and subway are particularly ambitions; counting surface stretches, by 2019 just those two systems are set to have a combined length of  410km/256miles, with that increased by 2029 to 464km/290milees

That’s pretty darned impressive.

The newspaper’s story also says the plan is to set a single price of 20 baht per ticket Not only is having a single ticket more convenient than having to buy separate tickets for two or more forms of mass transit, but it eliminates feeding a vending machine X amount of money depending upon your ultimate destination.

I don’t know the combined length of the currently-operating Skytrain and subway, but I do know that you can travel between the Mon Chit area clear out to the airport and Soi Bearing on this side of the river, and a short distance across it to the other side.

There’s a good graphical map here — note that it’s copyrighted:

http://www.urbanrail.net/as/bang/bangkok.htm

I almost never need to ride the Skytrain or subway (or, for that matter, a city bus or boat, though I would ride a bus if one plied a route along Soi 22), but the few times I’ve ridden either, they were great. EXCEPT for the blaring video ads that assault your sense on both the platforms AND in the cars, at least on the Skytrain, though I don’t know if the subway has avoided this, as the Skytrain did once upon a wonderful time. Clean, fast, efficient. If you find yourself living or staying somewhere near either and your destination on either one’s route, you can’t beat them. For that matter, if you find yourself, let’s say, anywhere around or to the north or west of the Mon Chit area (around Chatuchak Weekend Market) and need to get into central Bangkok, across the river opposite the south end Silom Road, Suvranbhumi Airport, or Soi Bearing out beyond the Bangna-Trad intersection, you REALLY can’t beat them, since you get to miss the less-than-thrilling traffic gridlock so typical of Bangkok.

Friends of mine who do use them regularly swear by them.

Interior of a Skytrain Car

Two Skytrains Passing Each Other

Couldn’t find any comparable shots of the subway, but its cars and trains look the same to me, which they may be.

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Lovisa of Luleå Returns from Her Christmas Holiday in Sweden

Lovisa has just returned to Bangkok from her native Sweden, where she spent what she reports as a pleasant, though snowless, Christmas. (Not clear if she meant there wasn’t any snow even on the ground from earlier or not, or just that it didn’t snow during her interlude there.)

I was sitting in the Silver Dollar about to leave Thursday evening when she came strolling in and plopped down in the booth with me, much to my pleasant surprise. I had known she was back — Burma Richard told me (he sees her all time when she’s in town because his, um, “studio” is directly above her room in a rooming house near the Square), but he also said she was quite busy with various projects she has in progress, so I had held off trying to call her so we could get together.

She’s busily editing a short video she has, I think the one Burma Richard stepped in as one of the photographers — she had four cameras taking both still and video shots of a transvestite show she set up in some joint downtown (somewhere on or immediately off Silom Road in roughly the Patpong area, as I recall from Richard’s telling). Or maybe it was a katoey — transsexual — show, a la Mambo. (My dear Cuz’ Mike dragged me to a show at Mambo when he and several friends of his came here a few years ago, and I do have to admit to having enjoyed it — sort of like I imagine someone might enjoy being just below the rim of a volcano (on the outside side, that is!) to watch the thing blow — then — the thrilling part — escaping unscathed to tell the tale: once is quite enough, thank you very much!!! But getting back to Lovisa of Lulea . . .

First, no doubt your wondering what a “Luleå” is, which just goes to show how piss-poor you are when it comes to geography since you never read the National Geographic magazines to which you’ve subscribed since 1948, sticking with just the pictures instead. The mid-sized city (~50,000) is largely on theSvartöstade Peninsula that divides Lule Bay and the Gulf of Bothnia with a “island-burb” in the form of the near-shore Hertsön Island, one of an archipelago numbering about 700.

Anyway, Lovisa would like to open twin beach resorts on the peninsula and the island — call them “The Pattaya of the North” when she reaches her Golden Years some decades hence. Those of you into extreme sports who are still hanging around then, perhaps becoming that future era’s equivalents of today’s aging hippies, New Age weirdos who biggest thrill is riding in their friend’s brand-spanking new UFO to visit her parents on Alpha Centauri-A, etc., will want to book early and often, not forgetting to reserve your speedboats and parasails, snorkeling of scuba gear, water skis, and so on.

Lovisa’s Luleå Luau Lodge as Conceptualized by an Artist

Once there, you can get ready for the thrill of your life, and while you may doing exactly the same thing you do now at any beach resort in the Kingdom, but in a slightly less tropical clime. You see, the average annual high of a balmy 5C/41F and annual low of a cool −2.5C/27.5F. Still too hot for you? — try going in January, when the temperatures ranges between a more comfortable -8C/18F down to average lows of  an invigorating -16C/3F!

Imagine — start your day with a sure-as-heck-to-wake-you-up waters adjacent the resort, then take to the air parasailing behind some mad speedboat driver who secretly wishes he was a pro racer so throttles up to 100 kph, soaring high in the sky to dry off as you artfully weave and bob like a cork in a tempest dodging those darn meter-long icicles shaped like harpoons plunging after falling off the wings of the military aircraft taking and landing off at the nearby Swedish Air Force base.

Swimmer in Luleå — Really

More Swimmers in Luleå — Again, Really

After recharging with a lunch of fresh tossed lichen salad and chilled smoked herring, you can move on to your afternoon’s plans: scuba diving in search of a frozen worm, eel, mullet, and Jimmy Hoffa (for which there are still an outstanding award  and warrant).

High Noon on the Summer Solstice in Luleå on the Summer
Solstice. (For the Record, It Looks the Same at Dawn, Sunset, and Midnight!)

It will indeed be a singular experience, a true once-in-a-lifetime adventure, unless, of course, you’re completely off your rocker and go back for more! (And Lovisa will bribe you if she can to come back for more. . . . Resistance Is Futile.)

Meanwhile, back down here on Earth, Lovisa really did tell me an interesting little tale about her Sister, who was just her with Sis’s husband and their two children for a day before heading straight to the beach (in Thailand, not Sweden). Her Sister’s middle name, which is the point of this little tale, is the perfectly respectable name “Joanne,” which in ordinary circumstances would excite no comment, unlike the late Frank Zappa’s daughter whom he named the unfortunate “Moon Unit,” or a son of a fruitcake American couple who a year or two back named the innocent babe “Adolf Hitler.” (Neither of those is a joke, either. Look ‘em up.)

So, how in the world could one possibly weave a tale of domestic intrigue around a fine name like “Joanne”? Well, life is filled with inexplicable mysteries both great and small, such as just whatever possessed your 16-year-old son to flush an M80 cherry bomb down the commode in the third-floor restroom at Podunkus High School in Podunkus, where you live in the splendorous, sweeping, majesty of southwestern North Dakota.

But this mystery doesn’t require the services of Sherlock Holmes.

You see, Lovisa’s Sister was born in some European country, but not in Sweden, a country which then routinely knocked out a Mother about to give birth, so when Sis was born, Mom couldn’t suggest a name, but Pop was on hand, so a nurse asked up. He hadn’t anticipated this, and frantically cast about trying to think of a name that he felt his wife would like, and decided that since he knew for an absolute fact that his wife simply loves the name “Joanne,” it was a no-brainer and told the nurse her name would henceforth be “Joanne.”

So, how did he know — I mean like know-know — that Joanne was held in such high esteem by his briefly unconscious wife?  Hang on . . . 

. . . Because it was the name of her favorite pig.

Recent Portrait of Joanne Fitted with Her Angel Wings

Well, when Mom woke up, she wasn’t overjoyed after all, but apparently all that could be done was to add another name as her newborn’s first name, pushing the name “Joanne” into the place of a second or middle one.

A bit of explanation for Joanne’s (Joanne the Pig’s, I mean, of course) angel wings. Well, you see, the porcine Joanne was originally shipped to Sweden from her native Guangdong Province in southern China, so her native language was Cantonese. Not knowing but tiny bit Swedish she had picked up during her comfortable stay with Lovisa’s family, one day when — she thought — the family invited her to join them at the table to play Scrabble, they actually were telling her they were about to turn her into a week’s worth of Swedish meatballs. Not understanding, she happily agreed and went to get her Swedish-Cantonese-Swedish dictionary, but boy oh boy, when she in in one great big surprise.

But her confusion, too, can easily be explained, too. The Swedish word for “Scrabble” is, reasonably enough, “Scrabble.” And the Swedish word for stirring ground meat with the aim of making Swedish meat balls is “scramble,” which is the only mystery here. (When did an Alabaman manage to transfer for the word??? Why why did he scramble ground pork??? Saying “scrambling pork” sounds like “stir-fried eggs”!)

You see the difficulty the  family’s inquiry posed for the unsuspecting (porcine) Joanne.

See? Mystery explained! (Were it so easy to explain the Mayan calendar to old hippies, New Age Space Cadets, and Tom Cruise.)

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And for the Finale, Another Lovely Lady of Thailand Photo

Well, it’s a bit after 4:00 P.M., and since I’ve not seen Bear and Maam again so I can a couple of photos of them — she’s very lovely, and since I can’t show an untaken picture but I want to include one of a Lovely Lady of Thailand  before signing off this week, I dug around and came up with this one

Mysterious Lovely Lady of Thailand

Though I didn’t take this, nor know who did, I do know the lady, whom prefers to remain anonymous; so be it. (And no, Mr. Nosy, downloading the picture then right-clicking on it then clicking “Properties” won’t reveal who she is, either — I marked it, ta-ta, “Mysterious Lady of Thailand.” So THERE, NYAH-NYAH-NYAH-NYAN-NYAAAAAAAAAAHHH! )  Nor do I know the location.

But it’s nice photo of a nice lady who also happens to be nice-looking (and Thai, by the way).

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Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

Happy New Year

to

One and All!

Submit materials to: squaronians [at] gmail.com

Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each entry here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

1. Year-End Bonus Edition! Chok Dee!!!

2. A Few Images from the Year Passing in Washington Square

3. So, What’s Up With the Square?

4. Kevin P. Goes into Depression Mode as He and His Missus Head Back Home to Guam

5. Hip-Hopper Al Eberhardt X Hip-Hops His Way Back into Washington Square

6. Bangkok Special Forces Association Outpost

7. The Sky’s Falling! The Sky’s Falling! Run for Your Lives!!!

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Year-End Bonus Edition! Chok Dee!!!

And we end 2011 with a bonus edition — December has five Fridays this year, so you get an extra Holiday Season “gift” in the form of this edition of “The Rounds”!

Ain’t you just the luckiest guys and gals around???

We all know this has been a difficult year for way too many of our loved ones. I just hope that it is ending on as positive a note as you can find in it,and that those of you who have been more fortunate and actually had a halfway decent year remember our neighbors as we move into what we all hope is a 2012 that is better for all than this year has been for some.

I look forward to continuing to offer news and what have you in the year to come and will be looking forward to hearing from you in the coming year.

Peace and blessings be with each and every single one of you.

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A Few Images from the Year Passing in Washington Square

I thought I’d include a few pictures of Squaronians as we see out the old year, so here goes:

Richard K Diran in the Silver Dollar Bar, Christmas Eve, 2011

This actually came out to be a far better photograph of our world-famous sculptor, painter, photographer, author, adventurer extraordinaire, reprobate, and general all-around Good Guy — considering I took it with my 4,000-baht point-and-shoot digital camera Especially since Mr. Khlutz, a.k.a. “Mekhong Kurt,” took it!

Chris, Allan, and Allan's Girlfriend Outside Cheers in Washington Square, Christmas Eve, 2011

And here I captured the ever-friendly Chris, Proprietor of Cheers, and long-time Squaronian Alan (a real White Hat guy) and his Girlfriend, who’s so pretty I done plumb forgot her name. BAD boy! BAD boy! (I’m slapping my hand.)

Burt With The Underburg He Gave Me Saturday, October 22, 2011

I don’t remember if I’ve run this photo of Ba Burt before, but never mind. From my perspective, he’s number one, one of my best friends in the whole wide world and, number two, for everyone a true legend himself, a dean of the Square who dates back to long before there even was a Washington Square — 1967, when he was still on active duty in the U.S. Army and stationed in Vietnam during our lengthy little foray there. After retiring in 1972. He discovered Bangkok on his very first R&R here so kept volunteering to remain in Vietnam, in spite of being shot at, finishing his last five years in the Army as a Red Leg — artillery man. Everyone has their “idiot moments” — but never mind Burt’s lasted FIVE YEARS; at least he had Big Irons to shoot BACK! He met the late, lamented, and legendary George Pipas of Texas Lone Staar fame way back then while George and the Texxan (the original name of the Texas Lone Staar) were still on Patpong.

2012 will mark Burt’s 40th year living in Bangkok, and 45th coming here. I reckon that qualifies him as a true Bangkok legend.

Khun Cookie Outside Silver Dollar, November 11, 2011

 I know some of my guy readers are the impatient type who don’t give a hoot about looking at pictures of ol’ hairy-leg guys, so figured it was time to give them a bit of relief. Khun Cookie sure as hell  is a whole bunch prettier (not to mention decades younger) than us old fogey Squaronians!

But back to the hairy legs.

Jim Watling with the Gifts He Gave Himself for Christmas, 2011

And here’s the popular absentee Squaronian who’s stuck in the U.S. for now. I think this picture was taken Christmas Day at wherever he lapsed back to tot-hood to play with the Slinky he gave himself for Christmas. (The beer, however, was a gift to his adult self! I imagine he would have greatly preferred to be downing a Beer Laos or case of the stuff, but it’s a long way between him and Laos.)

And here is a family I was mighty darned glad to see, having not seen them in several years — Yui (left), daughter Ai, and Brad, who hail from down Jomtien way, where they have a bar. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say Yui has a bar, to which I’ve not been and I forgot to ask the name of. I’ve not been there, but she and Brad used to run the Moonshine in Jomtien, and there was no doubt who ruled that roost! Brad does work, and not just in the bar; he’s a directional driller and works offshore down in Brunei. (A directional driller works in oilfields.) It sure was nice to see them.

Just last night — Thursday — Burt shocked the socks right off me by calling about 9:00 P.M., which is way past his beddy-bye hour, to say he was at the Square. I was already home and actually half asleep, but got up and went back there, only to miss him at the bar he had said he was in by a couple of minutes, but the ladies there said they thought he had headed to the Silver Dollar, so there I went. He hadn’t told me Jan was with him, so seeing her was a very pleasant surprise — hadn’t had a chance to visit with her in well over a year, maybe longer.

Saw Mike N. a couple of days ago, which reminded me to include his picture this week; took this one out front of Easy Pub about three months ago, October 4th. He’s one of a number of people I know whose homes got flooded; his got hit with up to about 2.5 meters/8+feet. When I say him this week, he did say all the water’s gone now, but he and his family still have the daunting and very unpleasant experience of suffering through restoration of the house, which of course is going to be a lengthy, major project — and a very expensive one. But he thinks they’ll be able to get it back to as good as new. Mike’s been in Thailand donkey years now, though I don’t recall just how long, though I do know he’s been here longer than I have, which is well over 17 years now. He’s one of those Squaronians who doesn’t have time to get to the Square much, what all with a busy work schedule, spending time with his family, etc., plus they live somewhere out in the suburban jungles somewhere not so handy for him to just pop in any old time. But he’s always a welcome sight for sore eyes.

Here’s a halfway decent shot of the lovely Khun Phrakhadong I snapped a couple nights ago. She used to work in the Square then took off, presumably with the foreign boyfriend she talked about but whom I never met. She surfaced again recently at Buddy’s Bar, but the way she dashes about, it’s anyone’s guess how long she’ll be around there! In any case, it was nice to see her. Don’t really know her all that well, but she has always been friendly to me.

And here’s a real treat — a picture of the famous Cape Buffalo in the Texas Lone Staar, no thanks to me, but to Graham “The Affable Aussie,” who e-mailed it to me recently. Don’t know when the photo was taken, nor even who took it for sure, though I’m assuming Graham did. Graham read the story by the man who shot the cape buffalo that I ran week-before-last, and promptly sent me this picture. The reason the C.B. doesn’t look so hot in this photo has nothing to do with the photography — I fiddled a bit with the brightness and contrast to try to make Mr. Buffalo better-looking, but to no avail. He just showed his age — the head hung on George’s wall for many years, around 30 or better. I’ve learned another humorous detail about the saga of the Cape Buffalo from Kevin P.f Guam, who’s good friends with Dennis. Seems Dennis called George here in Bangkok from the States and asked if George would like a buffalo’s head to display in his bar, and George thought he meant an American one, since Dennis called from the U.S. I bet George was downright shocked when he went to clear it through Customs! And I know it curled George’s lip right good and proper that he had not only to leave it in quarantine for awhile — George always claimed for six months, while others say it was more like a month, but never mind — he also had to pay for the privilege of leaving it locked up in isolation! Everyone who knew George knows that he loved money for sure — as long as it was incoming, not outgoing! (He’s the only man I’ve ever known who actually fondled the banknotes when I paid him rent each month, no joke! ) Sort of the opposite of an artillery barrage, which you definitely want to be heading out, not in.

Well, enough pics for now . . .

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So, What’s Up With the Square?

Well, Squaronians, Wannabes, and various others among the flotsam and debris who wash up on These Exotic Shores will be pleased to know that every source I’ve been able to think of to tap are all of one mind: they think nothing’s going to happen — at least not right away.

Apparently the landowners still are ready to do anything, and, for all I know, may not even have decided yet themselves what they want to do. But there’s nothing new about any of that — we’ve been hearing for over a decade that they were going to sell it or build something entirely new on the land, with nary a move having been made in all these years, at least not yet.

The consensus seems to be that extensions will be doled out 2-3 months at a time, though for how long, no one seems to really know. I do know that at least some of the owners figure “Why not hang in and make a few more baht before moving on???”

As I think I’ve said before, I personally won’t be surprised if in six months, a year, even two years the Square is still plugging along. Not that at least some places won’t move to new locations — I imagine Bourbon Street will, no matter what, and sooner rather than later — though not tomorrow, literally. The new place on Sukhumvit Soi 63 (Soi Ekhami) is nearly ready for occupancy and could be occupied now, but no need to rush things.

It’s maddening for owners to have to put up with the uncertainty. Who wants to spend money even for repainting or doing minor repairs when they may have to shut down with little notice?

So, if you’re in the neighborhood and of a mind to drop around, by all means do so. Unless the bulldozers are menacing (they won’t be), we’ll be around!

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Kevin P. Goes into Depression Mode as
He and His Missus Head Back Home to Guam

Kevin and his wife were scheduled to depart about 1:30 A.M. last night to return to Guam, via the rather circuitous route of traveling first to Inchon, Korea, where they face the unappetizing prospect of an 11-hour layover, which is no fun, though he did tell me the airline assured him they would have a hotel room to go to just outside the airport. They should have arrived there a few hours ago as I write, so the first leg’s done.

It’s not that they wanted to go around Robin Hood’s barn to get home — but Korean Air had the cheapest flight, which isn’t exactly cheap — about US$800 round-trip each. But there’s flat no really good way, at least in terms of air fares, to travel between Guam and Thailand.

Didn’t get to see Kevin’s wife again after first meeting her, as it worked out, but I did have numerous chances to have nice visits with Kevin, including about five hours yesterday afternoon.

While they were here, they went up for a short visit to Chiang Mai, with which they both fell in love. Levin’s thinking that they won’t stay in the house they just started building up in his wife’s home village, which is somewhere outside Roi Et in Isaan, but have a small place in Chiang Mai as well. That way, once Kevin retires, which he plans to do fairly soon, all else being equal, they can divide their time between the village and Roi Et, likely favoring Chiang Mai. I’ve never been to that village or to Chiang Mai, but to me, that’s pretty much a no-brainer. It would be sort of like me having to prefer either Aubrey or Aspen — LOL! (Aubrey’s the very small Texas town just outside of which I grew up, and where my Mother, Sister, Brother-in-Law, and Nephew all still live on the ranch.) No contest.

Kevin plans, happily enough, to come back for ANZAC day, which is April 25th. I have yet to attend the ceremony, but well may do so this year, though it’s almost certain to be hotter than blue blazes. The cemetary where the actual ANZAC memorial event occurs is far enough outside of town that it would be a bit of a walk to try to leave early if it’s just too hot to hoof it back into Kanchanaburi, and you can’t count on a taxi happening by. Buts lots of the guys go, including many Americans, who hold their own small memorial at a memorial for the relatively few Americans who died during the construction of the infamous Death Railway, which was immortalized in the 1950′s movie “Bridge Over the River Kwai.” The American memorial is right in town beside the bridge, which isn’t the actual one over which the Death Railway ran, but which has been preserved in memoriam to the tens of thousands of Allied troops, mostly from Commonwealth nations, with New Zealand and Australia over-represented, so to speak. There’s also a dawn ceremony at Hellfire Pass, but since it’s quite some distance beyond Kanchanaburi, I don’t know if anyone I know will go up the night before to try to attend that.

With the “Greatest Generation” dwindling more and more as the years take their toll, I don’t expect that many will be at any of the memorial services. But younger people do honor the memory of their elders and attend, especially those who themselves have served so very much feel the brotherhood of comrades-in-arms, even across generations and national boundaries. Warriors are warriors, after all. And brave they are, deserving of our respect and gratitude. (And that includes the folks in Iraq and Afghanistan, no matter how much one disapproves of either or both those wars.)

In any case, whether I go or not, I expect to have more happy hours visiting with Kevin come April.

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Hip-Hopper Al Eberhardt X Hip-Hops
His Way Back into Washington Square

The soon-to-be Hi-Hop sensation on YouTube, Al E., came waltzing — er, hip-hopping — into Washington Square yesterday afternoon, deciding to alight at the Silver Dollar to entertain and astound whatever patrons might be there with his newly-developed hip-hopping artistry.

Unfortunately, I don’t have even a photo, let alone a video, of Al’s spectacular performance, as I was scared he’d whop me up aside my head with his beer mug if I even said the word “camera,” let alone reach for mine. As an encore, Al did a short and surprisingly creditable version of Michael Jackson’s famous moonwalk, which can’t be duplicated by normal human beings. (No snide comments about Al, now . . . ).

As of now, Al told us, he has perfected only about a 4-second sequence, and doesn’t want to go live, so to speak, on YouTube until he gets at least a 10-second performance down in hip-hop shape. (I’m rather proud of that play on words!)

Imagine — our very own legendary Al will be wowing global audiences after the talent scouts for shows such as “America’s Got Talent” and “Dancing with the Stars” eagerly sign him up to sweep next season! Why, I can envision him being begged by cultural commissars in Moscow, Beijing, even Pyongyang to perform in such august venues as Red Square, Tiananmen Square, and whatever slab of concrete it is Pyongyang boasts! Perhaps national philharmonic orchestras will back him up!

Okay. Back to reality, though Al really did dance a very creditable hip-hop, and it really was about four seconds long, and walked a moonwalk that would have brought a smile to Michael J.’s face. Both were good, especially given that Al’s no spring chicken. Al first graced Asian shores when he was in his late twenties — 44 years ago. And he certainly is legendary, as well as title-holder, I think, among people I know in the Old Thai Hand department. Like other Old Thai Hands dating back to the Vietnam War, he’s frequented every venue and become a regular in each that has developed over the decades, clear back to George Pipas’ original Texxan on Patpong. (George did beat him to Thailand, as he arrived in 1964, but after this long, what’s a couple of years? Besides, now Al has longer time in service, as it were, since George died before spending as long here as Al has.

He rarely gets to this side of Sukhumvit, often holding corner in the popular Londoner Brew Pub downstairs at the corner of Sukhumvit Road and Sukhumvit Soi 33, the first of the numerous bars dotting that soi as you enter from Sukhumvit Road (or the last, coming the other direction).

He said it hasn’t been the best year ever, business-wise, but no surprises there. But he continues floating along and enjoying himself — Al always enjoys himself.

And he certainly appears fit.

If you find yourself in the Londoner and want to watch his dance routine, just ask for him — everyone knows him! He’s the kind of guy who could be standing on the balcony with the Pope and you had a picture of the two of them, and showed it to someone who asked, “Who’s that other guy?” and you, clever devil that you are, would say, “The guy in funny robes and hat? — That’s the Pope — he’s giving Al a personal tour”!

It was good to see him. Had been too long.

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Bangkok Special Forces Association Outpost

While Kevin P. of Guam and I were visiting, his good friend, Larry Peak, whom I also have known a bit for years now, called so they could meet up. Larry joined us at the Silver Dollar.

He’s doing well, including in his business — he travels around quite a bit. He’s Vice-President of Special Forces Association Erawan Chapter 3 — its formal name (clicking it opes the chapter’s homepage in another window) – here in the Bangkok S.F.A., but he’s deep into it. They used to have their meeting place above the Texas Lone Staar, but lost that space, of course, when the bar closed a few months ago.

You can find out information about the SFA’s activities, meetings, membership, and location via e-mail:

mail@sfa3.org

For those qualified, this is a worthy organization with a very tight-knit membership.

The chapter participates in the annual ANZAC Day ceremonies out at Kanchanaburi. Their planning for their next event there even as I write, and they want feedback from those planning on attending as part of the Special Forces Association.

Larry’s so busy that we don’t see him often, especially now that the chapter has moved out of the Square and he personally is so busy — heck, we didn’t see that much of him when it was still here! Like any SF troop, he sure doesn’t let the grass grow under his feet.

So, my last visit with Kevin (until he returns, that is) turned out to include Larry for part of it, and that was nice. As I said, I don’t know him all that well, despite knowing him years, but I suspect he would be someone nice to know — and I know he’s the kind of guy you would definitely want at your back when the cr*p hit the fan.

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The Sky’s Falling! The Sky’s Falling! Run for Your Lives!!!

Reverend Harold Camping sure got it wrong that The Rapture would take place and the world would end this year — poor guy’s got it wrong at least once before, so must have been apoplectic when he blew it again.

But for those eager to see the permanent end of the Veil of Tears, there’s hope yet, if the Mayans are to be believed, since according to the doomsday crowd (though not actually the ancient Mayans themselves), the end is nigh: December 21st of this year. (Kevin of Guam thinks it’s a dirty trick to cheat him out of his retirement!)

The short version is that the Mayans had a multi-year cycle lasting 5,000 years-plus which ends this year, and since there are no extant Mayan calendars going beyond this coming December 21st, readers of tea leaves, chicken innards, tarot cards, crystal balls together with people who ride on alien spaceships and have conversations with animals as a matter of course — lots of overlap there — conclude the only possible interpretation is that the world will end. Never mind that they recorded previous cycles, each of which turned the calendar to start the next cycle all over again, like we turn the calendar on December 31st and return to January 1st.

I suppose that means we should party like it’s 2012, since not only is it, indeed, 2012, but in this version of future history, it’s also the last year — ever — for Planet Earth.

GREAT cartoon that Showed Up in My Facebook Newsfeed from Baht&Sold and Shamelessly "Borrowed"!

Of course, that won’t matter to Squaronians, who famously party like it’s whatever year it happens to be anyway!

Meanwhile, on a more practical note, watch out for pigeon sh — er, I mean “pigeon bombs” smacking your head and shoulders from on high here in Bangkok, the only place on the planet I’ve ever actually had that happen. Twice. In the Square both times.

See you December 22nd — if not before.

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Well, goodbye — and good riddance, in many ways — to 2011.

Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

Merry Christmas!

Happy Hanukkha!

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Submit materials to: squaronians [at] gmail.com

Also, if you haven’t already, please take a look at the stuff immediately below each entry here. You can rate it, share it via several services such as StumbleUpon and via e-mail; you can print it, and you can leave a comment. Finally, in the lower right corner of the screen you’ll see a “Follow” button — if you click it, you’ll see a box in which you can write your e-mail address and my service will e-mail you the entire column each time I post one — BUT minus the stuff at the bottom and the sidebar menu; you’ll still need to come here to use those.

Hope you find the extras useful.

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Headlines (Sorry — not clickable)

  1. “Third Sex” Flight Attendants on Thailand’s PC Air

 2. “Cheers” Chris Dons Fascinating Head Gear for the Holiday Season

 3. Meet Up at Cheers-in-the-Square: Roger Beaumont and Andrew Drummond

 4. New Comet Re-Named After Surviving Fiery Brush with the Sun

 5. Revisiting Two Bars and Visiting Two New Ones

 6. Of Watches and Keys

 7. More Good Cheer!

 8. The Irrepressible Charlie S.

 9. Mysterious Singaporean Shows Up in the Square — for Just a Few Hours

10. Shortest Day of the Year Tomorrow

11. Cold Spell Hits Wide Areas of Northern Thailand

12. Christmas Menu for the Silver Dollar

13. Speechless Me . . .

14. Inappropriate Place Names

15. The Legacy of Golfing Great Kim Jong-Il

16. The Most Recent Stickman Weekly Is a Really Good Read

17. Good News for Some Motorway (Tollway) Users over the New Year’s Holiday

18. “Jabberwocky” Jay A. Heads to His Village on the Bay — Chicago

19. Great Rendition of “O Holy Night” on YouTube

20. Christmas Menu at Bourbon Street

21. Moonshine Christmas Buffet on Christmas Day

22. Christmas and New Year’s at D’Pelican Inn

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“Third Sex” Flight Attendants on Thailand’s PC Air

Since most Squaronians hold as a tenet of faith that Fridays require them to get early starts — and I don’t mean at the office — some may have missed this exciting news, despite it having made global headlines in every conceivable channel — print, TV, radio, the Internet, probably even our very own domestic “Bamboo Telegraph.”

Thailand’s newest airline, PC Air, founded just last year, received about 100 applications for flight attendant positions and now has hired four, who were aboard a domestic return flight from Bangkok to Surat Thani in the Deep South and back for selected civil aviation authorities and journalists. You can read one take in The Nation newspaper online in its story Airline launches maiden flight with transsexul attendants — don’t you know that whoever wrote that headline sure must have had tons of fun figuring out how to work in the word “maiden”!!! (By the way, the links open in a new window.)

Now, while I’m sure that some Squaronians will want to rush to get a flight on the airline so they can have a little “boys will be boys” fun aboard one of PC’s flights, but I doubt that the Thai police would just chuckle after said Squaronians tossed one of the former Mambo’s Cabaret dancers-turned-flight-attendants out the hatch while screaming “Remember the Alamo!” from 20,000 feet. Nor would that Mambo’s Cabaret dancer-turned-flight-attendant be the least bit amused.

10:40 A.M., Saturday, December 17, 2011

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“Cheers” Chris Dons Fascinating
Head Gear for the Holiday Season

Stopped by Cheers — the one inside the Square, not Cheer’s, the new place across Soi 22 from the Soi 22 entrance to the Square I wrote about last week — and, unusually for me, I sat outside with a group of Squaronians who were, um, ”practicing” for the rushing-upon-us holidays.

While we were sitting around jaw-jacking and having a grand old time of it, one of the guys handed Chris a new style of “hat” for him to try on, as it was quite cool and there was something of a breeze, and hairless Chris was whining and moaning about his scalp freezing.

He thought he looks so stylish with it on he readily agreed to let me snap a photo of him so attired, and I thought I would share it with the whole, wide, world:

"Cheers" Chris in, Um, Unusual Head Gear!

Positively stunning, isn’t he???

Chris Just Jumpin' with Joy!

12:30 P.M., Saturday, December 17, 2011

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Meet Up at Cheers-in-the-Square:
Roger Beaumont and Andrew Drummond

Two of Bangkok’s most legendary journalists extraordinaire  happened to come strolling by Tuesday night while we were admiring Chris’ new hat and stopped by for a short visit. I’m always glad to see both of them, this time particularly Roger, since I haven’t seen him in well over a year. (Andrew is becoming quite a Squaronian of late, making reasonably frequent appearances.)

Roger has actually been based in Bhutan the last few years, where he has been happier than a pig in mud — he really likes the place and the people.

The timing’s good, as he’ll have time to sort out renewing his visa (and work permit? — don’t know) while he’s resting easy. gobbling down boiled beef and pork pies, bangers and mash, and cold fish for breakfast! Plus downing a pint or two at the corner pub, of course!

Anyway, he’s looking forward to visiting his Mom (and other relatives and friends), though I wonder just how “merry” England is this time of year. I just checked, and right now it’s clear — but the temperature is hovering not far above freezing at <3C/37F. With a possibility of rain tomorrow. And that far north — London’s about 51 degrees north of the equator, almost exactly the same as Calgary, Canada –the days are mighty short, too. So, cloudy, dark, and dreary are in the offing for Roger. (No wonder the English are such stoic people — they have to be!)

I did get a nice photo of Roger and Andrew together:

Roger Beaumont and Andrew Drummond, Journalists Extraordinaire

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to Two Pillars of the Fourth Estate!

1:05 P.M., Saturday, December 17, 2011

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New Comet Re-Named After
Surviving Fiery Brush with the Sun.

Earlier this week, a recently-identified comet sped towards the Sun, where it was expected to burn up because it was headed to within about 140,000km/87,000m of the Sun’s surface, inside its corona — where temperatures can reach 1,100,000C/2,000,000F. Much to the astonishment of astronomers all over the world, the doggone thing survived, though it was a close call — the Sun’s gravity apparently  ripped the comet’s tail away.

Here’s the comet as it approached the Sun in a picture taken by a special camera aboard a satellite jointly operated by NASA and ESA (European Space Agency):

The Originally Misnamed Comet Lovejoy Speeding Towards the Sun.

(No, Khun Noi — the Sun isn’t really black — they used a special camera that can — oh, never mind!)

Sharp-eyed astronomers who themselves visit Washington Square and have met some Squaronians too another look at this and other photos after the comet miraculously survived, sans tail, and realized they had made a misidentification — the comet’s original name was “Lovejoy” — so they decided to rename the comet. Here’s the latest publicity photo, with the correction made:

Comet Squaronian Speeding Towards Washington Square!

They had to settle on the more generic “Squaronian” because even with their Solar Hubble-on-Steroids-Like Super-Duper Satellite Brownie Camera, they were unable to distinguish just which Squaronian it is. (Nor were they eager to get shot.)

I thought it was nice of them to do that. After all, some Squaronians do skirt near fiery destruction awaiting them at home during their forays to the Square — and they do stray dangerously close to losing their tails — and certain other body parts — too! A few Squaronians — like me — could be ruled out since we don’t have wives or any other significant other waiting at home at all, much less a jealous one eager to feed the duck! (Thankfully not!).

3:25 P.M., Saturday, December 17, 201

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Revisiting Two Bars and Visiting Two New Ones

Last night, Saturday, I first paid a courtesy call at the VFW Christmas Party in the Windsor Suites, then left and did a bit of wandering, first on Soi 20, then along the south side of Sukhumvit Road as I headed back to the vicinity of Washington Square.

First stop was at Top Secret Bar, owned by “Lanky” Dave and Khun Oy, his lovely Missus.

The bar’s name is appropriate, because you could walk along Soi 20 a million times and miss it, at least if they never turn on their lighted sign located at the mouth of the sub-soi down which the bar’s located — it was off last night, and I didn’t notice it until I was exiting the sub-soi. But once you know where it is, it’s easy to return.

Coming from Sukhumvit Road along Soi 20, you turn right into the first sub-soi — it looks more like a driveway, actually — then walk a short distance towards the hotel you see in front of you at the other end. When you reach the end, Top Secret is on the near corner on your right; turn right, and there are some outside tables and chairs, with the door there.

Top Secret Sign Outside Front, Satruday, December 17, 2011

There’s the sign you’ll see as you turn the corner to enter the bar. And next you may see the affable owners, “Lanky” Dave and Khun Oy:

Top Secret Dave and Oy (Owners), Saturday, December 17, 2011

The bar is quite nice, sporting the bar, some cocktail tables with seats, and a pool table. (I plain didn’t notice if there’s a dart board. My bad.) Rushing right along, since Khun Oy turn her head away just as I snapped the shutter, here’s a much better picture of her:

Top Secret Oy (Owner), Saturday, December 17, 2011

I really like both Khun Oy and Dave, who’ve been together some years now. But last night was only the second time I’ve visited their bar, which just goes to show what a turtle I am about getting out of the Square and off Soi 22!

Do make a point to drop by and meet them — the drink prices are right in line with those in and around the Square.

Next up is Sport Center Bar, located on the east side of Sukhumvit Soi 20 just a few door off Sukhumvit Road. Coming from Sukhumvit road, it’ll be on your left. I took the photo from across Soi 20 and a little further into the soi, from the mouth of the sub-soi where Top Secret Bar is located.

Sport Corner Bar, Sukhumvit Soi 20, Saturday, December 17, 2011

I’ve been to this bar two or three times before, though not in a long time. It’s an open-air bar, with the front open to whatever Bangkok deals us weather-wise. There’s seating outside as well.

When I was there, several customers were seated outside, though I was the only one inside — where, to my surprise, I recognized one of the bar ladies:

Sport Corner Bar Ladies, Sukhumvit Soi 20, Saturday, December 17, 2011

I actually recognize both of these ladies, but I can’t place the one on the right. Anyway, the other is Khun Malee, late of Texas Lone Staar fame, where she worked a long time, right up until that legendary institution’s last gasp in late May of this year. Usual drink prices for the neighborhood. As for the food, I didn’t even realize they have food until I pasted in the photo of the exterior sign, so I don’t have a clue about that. As Soi 20 has a number of other places to explore, I’ll go back, and undoubtedly will drop back by Sport Center Bar and will try to remember to check the offerings prices then.

Next I went on up to Sukhumvit Road and turned right to get back to Soi 22. Along the way I came to a tiny outside bar I’d never noticed before, Enjoy Bar:

Enjoy Bar, Along Sukhumvit Road Between Soi 20 and Soi 22, Saturday, December 17, 2011

Since the temperature was absolutely delightful, I spent a pleasant short visit at this little bar. The two ladies manning the bar — or should it be “womaning the bar”??? — when I arrived both spoke some English, so we were able to chat a bit; friendly gals:

Enjoy Bar Ladies, Along Sukhumvit Road Between Soi 20 and Soi 22, Saturday, December 17, 2011

Their names are Khun Patty (left) and Khun Kung. Two other ladies, one the owner, came in a few minutes later, but I had just paid my bill and was leaving, so I didn’t get pictures of them nor their names.

Normal prices. a nice little spot, especially if you like not only watching street life as it drifts by, but to sit smack dab in the middle of it as you do so.

Headed on from there to the next stop, Otto Bar, which I had noticed before and wanted to visit, on the southwest corner of Sukhumvit Road and Soi 22 next to the 7-Eleven, on your right as you turn into the soi:

Otto Bar, Corner of Sukhumvit Road and Soi 22, Saturday, December 17, 2011

The sign sticks out diagonally, so it’s easy to see from both Sukhumvit Road and Soi 22.

The bar is fairly small and open-air on the two street sides, and has a comfortable, pleasant atmosphere:

Otto Bar Inside, Corner of Sukhumvit Road and Soi 22, Saturday, December 17, 2011

The man is apparently the owner; he told me his name, which I promptly forgot, nor did I write it down. Like all my stops last night, this one featured regular neighborhood prices.

I hope you’ll visit each of the places mentioned in this story — and that you remember to tell them I recommended them to you!!!

10:00 A.M., Sunday, December 18, 2011

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Of Watches and Keys

By the way, in front of the 7-Eleven on Sukhumvit Road just around the corner to your left coming from Sukhumvit Soi 22 there is a street watch repair vendor and two street keymaker ones. I’ve been meaning to get extra keys for my apartment, so finally did so before going on into Otto Bar. The last time I had keys made, I got nicked 100 baht per key — but the guy last night charged me only a downright cheap 30 baht each! I thanked him and told him what I had paid before, and he practically shouted, “THAT’S CRAZY!”

Agreed.

Never have tried the watch repairman, but there he is, if you need his services. You can even get something to eat or snack on in the 7-Eleven or maybe from one of the street food vendors there while you wait.

Incidentally, it was after 8 o’clock when I stopped by — I guess they’re open evenings, too, though maybe that was just because it was a Saturday night.

Thought about taking a picture, but decided the men there would think I’m nuts. (Be nice!)

10:05 A.M., Sunday, December 18, 2011

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More Good Cheer!

 Promised I’d dole out more pictures of the ladies at Cheer’s Bar and Grill adjoining the Regency Park Hotel, so here you go:

Khun Cheer (middle) and Two of Her Ladies in Cheers, Tuesday, December 13, 2011 1

Like I wrote last week, the Local Lasses sure do go cuckoo over a camera! I asked Khun Cheer if they deliver, and she just looked at me blankly, so I explained, “In those uniforms, you look like you work at a chicken place like KFC or something!” They just giggled.

So, drop by and have a beer with Good Cheer — literally!

10:20 A.M., Sunday, December 18, 2011

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The Irrepressible Charlie S.

Ran into the always-friendly Charlie S. the other night at Cheers (the one in the Square — the difference is its name is spelled without an apostrophe — that’s the ‘ thingy, for the punctuation-challeged). as he was busily blabbing away with someone, didn’t get a chance to say much more than “Hi” — but I did get a nice photo of him all dressed up like he’s really a businessman (he is):

Charlie S. in Cheers in the Square, Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Charlie must be physically incapable of not smiling — I don’t think I’ve ever seen him even once with other than a nice smile on his face.

Maybe I’ll run into him again over the holidays and get the latest of The World According to Charlie!

10:35 A.M., Sunday, December 18, 2011

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Mysterious Singaporean Shows
Up in the Square — for Just a Few Hours

“Singapore” Pat, long resident in Singapore but who sometimes travels through Bangkok as he bounces to and from betwixt and between The Lion City and Burma popped over to the Square from the airport a brief visit during a 7-hour layover he had out at Suvarnabhumi Airport on the outskirts of Bangkok before heading back to the airport for his onward flight to Burma.

Pat originally hails from either Scotland or Ireland — never can keep it straight! Anyway, long ago he succumbed to the sirens’ sweet call wafting his way from The Mysterious East, ending up in Singapore donkey years ago, something on the order of 20-25 years, as I recall. A long time, anyway. It probably had been at least a couple of years since I had run into him, so it was a real pleasure to see him after such a long time — well, actually, it’s always a pleasure to do so. Even if I did run into him only about 45 minutes before he was planning on heading out. (Leaving himself just 90 minutes to take-off — he invariably shaves it really close.)

Pat actually was planning on staying in Burma for just a single day to attend a meeting for an hour with some top government officials on business. He had been in Scotland with his wife and their kids on holiday when he received a call to get on back right now for the meeting, so off he took. He said he planned to return to Scotland immediately thereafter, not stopping over in Bangkok long enough to leave the airport. But he added he’ll be back sometime next year (early in the year, I think).

Singapore Pat in the Square, Monday, December 19, 2011

Great to see you, Pat!

9:30 A.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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Shortest Day of the Year Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the 2011 winter solstice for the northern hemisphere, or the shortest day of the year. Which, of course, means tomorrow night will be the longest of the year.

Here in The Big Weird, the actual minute of the solstice will be at 12:30 P.M., at a perfect moment for those on regular office hours to be at lunch and hoist a toast to the Sun, since it’ll begin its six-month climb back to the north. By the way, since I got burned on the time of the lunar eclipse last week, this time I used a different source, EarthSky.org — and hope the folks there have it right! Go to their story “Everything you need to know about the winter solstice of 2011” for the full story, which includes links so you can figure out your time zone and the time in it. (Each links opesn in new window.) For some time zones — including most of the Americas and Pacific, it will occur on December 21st. For example, in Texas it’ll be at 11:30 P.M. on the 21st.

Of course, the solstice will be history before you read this here, though I’ll post it on Facebook at http://facebook.com/mekhongkurt and my Twitter account @MekhongKurt in a minute. Unless you learn about it somewhere else, that is.

But if you did miss it, never fear — you can still toast the occasion if you celebrate Christmas since that holiday has become conflated to ancient ones celebrating the Winter Solstice in other cultures and religions. Some scholars say the Christmas tree came from European non-Christian traditions, for example. There’s the obvious link of the nearness of the two dates, too. In North American popular culture, the main historical source traces back to early Christianity in the form of Saint Nicholas of Myra — that ought to please my Mom, since “Myra” is her Christian name! — and even earlier parallels among the ancient Greeks, then later influences such as Pre-Christian ideas regarding the Nordic god Odin among the Vikings. BTW, Saint Nicholas lived in modern-day Turkey, according to the Wikipedia article I just read, which I hadn’t known.

Anyway — enjoy it, whenever you do!

10:45 A.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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Cold Spell Hits Wide Areas of Northern Thailand

This actually begin several days ago, and I thought it might let up, but since it hasn’t, I figure it’s worth mentioning.

The Bangkok Post has a story today titled “17 provinces declared disaster zones” detailing the situation. Here are the affected provinces, in case you’re heading towards any of them anytime soon:

Chiang Mai, Mae Hong Son, Phrae, Uttaradit, Nan, Tak, Phayao, Lampang, Sakon Nakhon, Lei, Nong Khai, Nakhon Phanom, Mukdahan, Kalasin, Buri Ram, Suphanburi and Ratchaburi.

Now, if you come from someplace north of the Tropic of Cancer or, in some cases, south of the Tropic of Capricorn, you need to know that there is “Thailand cold” and your idea of cold. We’re not talking snowballs here, let alone snowmen — heck, we’re not even talking about snow at all. According to the weather on the newspaper’s online front page, the coldest temperature in the cities displayed is 14C/~57F as the low (but with a daytime high of 29C/~84F). However, at higher elevations, the temps can dip down to freezing and even a bit colder.

It’s not the highs that worry Thais, even those preferring summer temperatures all year around. But no one has heat here (except hotels and the like, and not all those). But I personally know Thais who complain about the cold when the temperature drops, say, to 24-25C/~75-77F, and their volume goes up geometrically with each degree further done. They simply aren’t acclimated to it — the longest “winter” I’ve experienced here has been about 5-6 weeks; some years it lasts only days.

Most years, at least a few Thais end up seriously ill or even dead due to exposure. With no heating, the lower temperatures can be a real problem, especially in traditional Thai houses, which are built on stilts so air can circulate in the much longer and fiercer hot seas (coming to a place near you in Thailand soon), and with the roof raised a bit above the tops of the exterior walls for the same reason, and the roofs normally peaked and no ceiling inside — meaning what warm air there is rises

I do know foreigners who are very sensitive to cooler temps, so if you’re one of them, pack something to wear.

12:53 P.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011.

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Christmas Menu for the Silver Dollar

This just showed up on my Facebook page, so I saved it to put here.

Silver will have it’s Christmas offering on Christmas Day at 2:30 P.M. The menu is below and has the price, but it’s not all that big, so I’ll put it here — 390 baht per person.

Silver Dollar will certainly be one of my ports of call Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day There are a number of places I’ll visit over the holidays since I expect many people I know will be around but different ones tend to go to some places more than they do others.

Notice that Johnny Jazz — the graphic artist who did both this and Silver’s Thanksgiving one with “Cranberry” spelled “Cranbury” in honor of some nonexistent town (that anyone’s around here has ever heard of, anyway)  has corrected that little slip!

Silver Dollar Christmas 2011 Menu

1:50 P.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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Speechless Me . . .

Well, this is what Mandarin-speaking Chinese call “jende tao yan!” — “really tiresome!”

My voice started fading Monday, then faded a bit more yesterday. I woke up about 6:00 A.M. today, but had no occasion to try to speak until I left a little before noon and needed to tell the taxi driver where I was going. The best I could manage to do was to squeak “Soi 22″ before losing it entirely. (Reached my destination through using extensive pointing and grunts. Good driver.) It’s now coming up on 4:00 P.M., but it is still fading in and out — more the latter than the former.

I have absolutely no pain or even mild discomfort, but it sure is irritating. I hope I can talk halfway normally by Christmas Eve, at least, though right about NOW would be wonderful!!!

3:45 P.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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Inappropriate Place Names

Geez, but some people get uptight.

Just read a story over on The Daily Meal website headlined “7 Most Inappropriate Restaurant Names,” and while I can see some people taking offense at some of them — “Big Pecker’s Restaurant and “Hung Far Low” sort of do stand out, admittedly –  “Hooters” strikes me as relatively inoffensive, as does the rather clever “Thai Me Up.” What would the writer prefer to “Hooters”? “Big T*ts”???

Here’s the response I just left in the website’s comment thread:

Hooters is offensive? Well, in a PC world, I guess so. But it’s not like the name involved the F-bomb or something.

As for Thai Me Up, I’m an American who has lived in Thailand for over 17 years, and I think it’s GREAT. There’s a restaurant here in Bangkok named “Cabbages and Condoms” started by an AIDS campaigner, head of an NGO here, universally known as “Dr. Condom” whose real name is Mr. Mechai Viravaidya. In the bowl at the cashier in which other restaurants have candy or mints, Cabbage and Condoms offers free condoms.

Of course, in Thai culture people such as transvestites,  transsexuals, prostitutes are far more tolerated, even (by some) not thought much about compared to some other cultures. Anyway, I reckon Thai Me Up is a whole lot tamer than Cabbages and Condoms.

Like I said at the start, geez. Sure seems to me there are a whole lot more important things to worry about. Like dabbages and Condoms.” (I guess  some would really freak had he named it “Rhubarbs and Rubbers,” huh?

For their own sakes, let’s hope those who have great sensitivity to the power of words, or certain words, don’t come to Thailand! Like any Old Asia Hand (not just Old Thai Hands), I’m pretty darned inured to much of what we see as we wander, and I have to admit that even I have seen bar names and the like that have caused be to jerk my eyes back for a second take. I mean, “Beer ‘n Boobs” isn’t what one would expect to see over a bar entrance in, say, my hometown in Texas, Aubrey. (Yes, yes — I know, for those familiar with Aubrey — “Of course you won’t since Aubrey doesn’t HAVE any bars!!!” Quit being picky.

One real example, except that no single word in it is the slightest offensive, from right here in The Big Weird is the famous Cheap Charlie’s Bar in Sukhumvit Soi 11. (By the way, it really does offer cheap libations; haven’t been there in years, but a friend was there recently after a long break himself and told me he was pleasantly surprised at just how much Charlie — the Thai owner’s English name really is “Charlie” — has held the line on prices.)

Native speakers of English know immediately that the combination of two perfectly innocuous words is virtually any other context like these gives them a far different meaning. And the bar girls sure do know the phrase well, even if their English is otherwise extremely limited. Don’t believe me? — Try going into any bar with working ladies, sit with one or two for a few minutes without buying any lady drinks and there’s a very good chance they’ll storm off muttering “Cheap Charlie!!!” while they scowl. But to be fair, they get a cut of the cost of each drink — a commission. You’ll hear them saying other things in Thai you won’t understand (unless you speak Thai, of course) that are one heck of a lot worse than “Cheap Charlie,” rest assured. “Buffalo” is one, and it’s much more offensive than being called a cheapskate. Well, I guess genuine Cheap Charlies might disagree!

By the way, Cheap Charlie’s does have some genuine international renown — CnnGo.com covered it in a story headlined “Cheap Charlie’s: Bangkok’s favorite Sukhumvit dive bar” earlier this year, with a subtitle “Matey, beery, grungy: this is the Bangkok bar that put the X in expat. But where’s Charlie?” Good read.

8:48 P.M., Wednesday, December 21, 2011

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The Legacy of Golfing Great Kim Jong-Il

Thought that headline might catch your attention.

With many thanks to Tony R. down Pattaya way for posting this on Facebook and reminding me, though he didn’t know that’s what he did. (I’ve thanked him there already.)

The Manila Times has a story headlined “Kim Jong-Il’s ace debut round recalled on Twitter” brings back a story from years ago in which North Korea’s propaganda masters truly outdid themselves. I remember the story from back then, though I had forgotten it long ago, probably within 30 seconds!

From the story:

“Reports hailed Kim’s 38-under par 34 over 18 holes at the 7,700-yard Pyongyang Golf Course in his first try at golf, a feat watched purportedly by 17 security guards protecting the man hailed as ‘Dear Leader’.”

And this:

“Twitter skeptics wondered whether or not Kim might have tried to surpass such stars as Tiger Woods or reigning World No. 1 Luke Donald of England had he truly gone 21 strokes below best score from a US PGA golfer.”

. . . or maybe not, not if the GS takes after the DL, the latter widely believed to have been a devoted aficionado of porn, so maybe Junior would rather have the guys show him around the Square and the neighborhood so the haircut-challenged young man can pick up those kinds of pointers. And our local pros can sure help him out there!

As always, Jay will be back — when he gets back. I doubt he’ll get together with his local running mate, “Gabby” Gary M., who winters in scenic New Jersey except when he, his Dad, and some other folks run off to Aruba to defiantly hurl insults across the narrow 27km/~17mile gap separating it — it belongs to the Netherlands — at President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela.

Bourbon Street will be hosting the restaurant’s last Christmas this weekend before moving to its new location on Soi Ekamai-Soi 63 very soon. Here’s the menu:

Notice that Bourbon’s spread is on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I don’t know exactly when Bourbon Street will physically switch to the new location, but it’s pretty imminent, so if you haven’t been by yet before it does, this would be a good time to do so. I imagine both days will be well-attended — they are anyway — but especially now, the finale.

2:37 P.M., Friday, December 23, 2011

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Moonshine Christmas Buffet on Christmas Day

While there’s no link to send you to, I talked with the folks at Moonshine and asked about their Christmas plans.

From 6:45 P.M. on on Christmas Day — well, it’ll be Christmas Night by then — there will be a buffet featuring fried turkey and all the trimmings. And the price is right: it’s free.

Moonshine is a comfortable place that always has a menu, various libations, pool, darts, a TV, and music-music videos. Of course, many places have some or all of those, but not necessarily pool or darts. Quite a few Squaronians go there, though it’s in Queen’s Park Plaza, but hey, that’s practically just across the road and is to the left a bit as you exit the Square onto Soi 22. There is often a good group of folks there.

To get to the place, the easiest way is to go to “Soi 3″ — really a sidewalk, as all four “sois” is QPP are — which when you’re coming from Sukhumvit Road or Washington Square is the second one you see. To help you find a landmark, right on the street end of QPP Soi 4 there’s a very obvious sign for a small open-air beer bar there, Popeye 2 (itself a nice little spot, by the way). You can enter QPP Soi 4 to enter the back door, which isn’t marked, but is the next entrance after the Olive Oyl Bar on your left. You have to look — the door is inset back several feet.

I had never had fried turkey before I came to Bangkok; in fact, I had never heard of it being deep-fat fried in peanut oil, though I had it roasted coated in the stuff. It sounds strange — we deep-fat fry stuff like breaded fish fillets, french fries, onion rings, and the like — but done right, it’s delicious! The meat is very moist, something not true of every turkey I’ve eaten, with some way too dry.

Old Squaronians will remember the legendary  Bobby Toombs, who used to deep-fat fry turkey in a serious way: he had a barrel he filled with peanut oil then stuck the entire turkey into the oil. Never heard anybody complain, either!

3:03 P.M., Friday, December 23, 2011

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Christmas and New Year’s at D’Pelican Inn

I haven’t seen Tom, the friendly guy who own D’Pelican, since one night a couple weeks ago or so at Cheer’s (Regency Park), at which time I didn’t think to ask him about his offerings this year. So, I just now went to the website and got this graphic summarizing Holiday Happenings there:

A word about the graphic: you’ll notice there’s no price information for Christmas, so I don’t know about that. Also, it’s not clear, to me anyway, just what of the listings above it the “ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!” for New Year’s refers to.

In any case, it’s a nice place — and it’s the only place I know of that has a table shuffleboard, by the way, if you enjoy that game.

3:26 P.M., Friday, December 23, 2011

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And with that — a very Merry Christmas to one and all!

Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

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If you missed the total lunar eclipse the other night — the 10th — you sure missed quite a spectacle.

My sources turned out to have listed the WRONG TIMES, though I managed to learn the correct ones and got to see the Moon sliding into Earth’s shadow, totality, and the Moon sliding back out of Earth’s shadow. Took a couple of pictures of each phase, but the ones I snapped during totality didn’t come out at all. But my inexpensive (3,000 baht/US$100) point-and-shoot digital camera did do a surprisingly good job, considering it’s not designed for the sort of work. Here are two of the photos, the first of the first phase, the other of the last:

Moon Partially in Earth's Shadow as It Entered, Taken from Benjasiri Park, Bangkok, December 10, 2011

Moon Partially in Earth's Shadow as It Exited, Taken from in Front of the Silver Dollar in Washington Square, Bangkok, December 10, 2011

If you did miss this eclipse, too bad — the next total one won’t be until 2014. SOLLY NA!

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Finally got by the new bar over at the Regency Park Hotel, Cheer’s Bar and Grill, owned by the lovely and very friendly Khun Cheer. Here’s a night shot of the front of the bar:

Cheer's Bar and Grill, Sukhumvit Soi 22, December 12, 2011

Whoa there, Cowboys! Hold your doggone horses — here’s the picture you guys have been waiting for, Khun Cheer her very own beautiful self!

Khun Cheer, Owner of Cheer's Bar and Grill, Monday, December 12, 2011

As Squaronians and other Old Thai Hands know, when Thais — especially the ladies — see a camera, a special gene Thais (and other Asians) possess that the rest of us don’t kicks in and causes their brains to make them pose and beg that you take their picture, too. I mean, all other brain functions except those essential to provide minimal life support — think the astronauts sweating it out in Apollo 13 — shut down while bright, flashing neon light up their imaginations with billboards on which the words “TAKE MY PICTURE!!! TAKE MY PICTURE!!!”are written. Naturally, a couple of Khun Cheer’s staff rushed over for that very reason — and here they are:

Khun Cheer, Owner of Cheer's Bar and Grill, Monday, December 12, 2011 with Two of Her Ladies

I have others from that and the next night both, but I’ll dole those out as time glides by. (No begging, cajoling, cursing offers of bribes, or threats — puh-LEEZE! ) Well, okay ONE more — but this is one of Khun Cheer flanked by me and the affable Tom, proprieter of D’Pelican Inn just off Sukhumvit Road on a soi running off to the west (left, coming from Cheer’s). The next story is about his new bar anyway (and yes, I have more pics from there, too, hurray!).

Tom of D'Pelican (left), Khun Cheer, and Me in Her Bar Monday, December 12, 2011

Khun Cheer seems quite nice, and she’s certainly personable. I know nothing about her background; about all I’ve heard is Dean Barrett told me he had been there and recommended it, adding that he really likes her. I’ve also heard from various people that she has a silent investor, reportedly a foreigner — who’s also said to be her boyfriend. So be NICE!

Good staff, friendly, pleasant atmosphere in the bar. There’s a side door directly into the hotel, and on the nights I was there, the entire front was open. However, it can be closed up — you can still watch street life through the ample windows — as there is air-conditioning. A lot of folks prefer sitting exposed to the outside air even in the hot season, but not me.

The prices for my drinks — a beer the first night, a Sangsom-and-Coke the next — were in line with prices around the Square and neighborhood, though the ladies’ drinks (at least those Khun Cheer had) were a bit pricey; I got her one the first night, and it was 160 baht (about US$5.20 at current exchange rates). I don’t know how much the one she had the next night cost; it wasn’t the same as I had bought her, and the second time, Tom got her one. My drinks were in the 80-100 baht range, which is pretty normal around these parts.

Almost forgot — there is food available there, but I haven’t even looked at the menu, so I’ll have to report on that another time.

In any case, if you’re looking for a change of scene, I highly recommend dropping by Cheer’s — and please tell Khun Cheer I sent you!

P.S. — No website. Yet.

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I mentioned that Tom has a new place, Buddy’s Bar and Grill, near his popular D’Pelican Inn. Here are two shots, one from outside, the other inside. When I located these pics, I had an “OOPS!” moment — the photo I took of the ladies is a complete flop — dark to the point the ladies are just very, very faintly detectable. But I’ll go back and try again Real Soon Now. If you’re all THAT darned eager — THEN GO BY AND HAVE A DRINK OR TWO!!!

Anyway, here goes –

Buddy's Bar and Grill's Front, Monday, December 12, 2011

As you can see, the place is well-lit, so it’s easily visible as you walk/ride/drive along Soi 22 — the car at the right edge is on Soi 22 approaching Sukhumvit Road. If you know the popular Titanium Club & Ice, Buddy’s is on the other side of the soi from it, towards Sukhumvit Road, which is about 100 meters away. (I forgot to ask Tom if he has a website for this place, and there’s little on his website for his other place about Buddy’s.)

Here’s a shot of the interior, front to back, with Tom waving at the camera:

Buddy's Bar and Grill's Interior, Monday, December 12, 2011

While the bar isn’t air-conditioned, there are numerous fans, as you can see in the above picture. I bet it’s pretty comfortable even during the hot season — and we’ll get to find out soon enough, since whenever our allways-way-too-brief cool season ends, the hot one rolls right inwith a vengeance, the mercury threatening to blow off the top of the thermometer! Well, okay, not that bad — nothing like, say, Saudi Arabia, but the temps do routinely hit the mid-to-upper 30′sC/90′sF, and even can top 100 degrees (F) on infrequent occasion (unlike Isaan, which can suffer really hot temperatures to just about anyone not from Saudi Arabia, southern Arizona, etc.

Again, I didn’t even look at the menu, but I’ve eaten at D’Pelican, and the food is really, really good — and very reasonably priced. So I bet the food at Buddy’s is every bit as good, and will report when I get around to trying a meal there.

By the way, though Tom didn’t mention it, earlier this year he opened another D’Pelican in Nakhon Si Thammarat around 1st March 2011 undeer the moniker “DPelican Sports Pub & BBQ House,” or so says his website for the one here in Bangkok. I’ll try to remember to ask him about that next time I see him.

Do drop by Buddy’s (and D’Pelican, for that matter) — and as always, please tell them I sent you.

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I just popped over to my Facebook page looking for something and lo and behold! — There was a picture of well-known (and much liked) David Mangione, who moved back to America awhile back, playing Santa Claus that he had posted. I typed in a message to him that I was going to (shamelessly) steal it and put it here, so here it is:

David Mangione Playing Santa at His Lions Club Annual "Breakfast with Santa"

Dave was a regular around the Square, especially at WIld Country and the Silver Dollar, though he also hit the other places as well pretty often, when he could. Circumstances took him back Stateside a good while back, and he’s missed by all of us here.

Don’t know what he’s up to these days — other than, as is blindingly obvious, behaving like a (ahem!) “questionable old man”!!! (He looks considerably younger than he actually is.)

Anyone wanting to find him on Facebook just enter his first and last names — his is the first one that pops up, with his avatar — a Rotund Italian Chef!

Dave, drop a line with an update and I’ll run it –

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I’m looking forward to going to the VFW’s annual Christmas party tomorrow night, which is going to be at the Windsor Hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 20. Lucky for me; I’d balk at going much further than that! After all, my visa stretches out only to Rama IV Road, Soi Asoke, Petchburi Road, and Soi Thonglor — though weeks can go by I never get off Soi 22! (Sometimes I get daring and venture out of bounds to the Tesco Lotus complex – on the other side of Rama IV Road. It’s a real thrill. I feel like a spy, or something!)

Anyway, it’s always a good time, and I get to see a few folks I get to see seldom otherwise, a couple even only that one time each year.

I don’t know if tickets will be available at the door, though if they haven’t sold out, they will, so you can try, if you wish — it’s an open affair. They’ve still had tickets the few times I’ve been (missed the past couple of years, though).

I plan to take a bunch of pictures, so will have those next week.

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Shoot — just discovered the free service I use to write this won’t let me upload videos unless I upgrade, so now I’m going to have to decide if it’s worth it to do so or just keep putting them over in my YouTube page and providing a link to them here.

That’s what I’m doing this time. The link below is to a hilarious video the gregarious Dean Barrett — whom I bumped into recently and had a nice visit with – made of pretty Thai Bar Girls (and some self-promotion shots of several of his books, the number of which continues to grow), with Dean reading a peom he wrote he calls “My True Love.” Besides being funny, it’s instructive for any “Newbie” coming here for his first trip with love on his brain, as the dangers of digging to fulfill one’s desires with a local Damsel are legion — and many are hidden, at least to the foolish and unwary.

And there sure are plenty of those. If I had a dollar for every tale of woe involving a broken heart (and usually a busted budget) I’ve heard, been told about, and read about, I’d be walking in high cotton!

If you’re hyper-touchy, the poem has slightly risque moments — but they’re very, very mild, so even you whose skins are less than a nanometer thick ought to be able to survive! [I'm thinking of my Mom and Aunt D. in particular -- chuckle. Y'all will be fine, jes' fine! ;-)]

Here’s the link. (By the way, says “BUY MORE BOOKS, DOGGONE IT!!! Alternately, when you bump into him, he happily accepts tips, donations, and gifts, especially those in the forms of either cold, hard, and preferably untraceable cash (baht or U.S. dollars only, please!) — or drinks!

Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/0LKKtKZhE5Q (Note: this opens in this window, but you can either use the “Back” button on your browser to return, or right-click on the link and choose “Open in a new tab.”)

Here are a few photos of Dean doing field research in the Texas Lone Stgaar in days of yore:

Dean Barrett and Thai Beauty in the Texas Lone Staar, Washington Square, Bangkok, Thailand on Some Holiday

Dean Barrett and Thai Beauty Khun Nee in the Texas Lone Staar, Washington Square, Bangkok, Thailand

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I’m embarrassed I haven’t run this next piece sooner, considering I received it over three years ago, just weeks after George Pipas up and passed away. But perhaps now, the first Christmas Season since the Texas Lone Staar closed is an even better time to end all speculation about “The Story of the Cape Buffalo Head in the Texas Lone Staar Bar”!

Many thanks to the man responsible for bagging the buffalo and for giving it to George, Dennis Kiander of Guam.

Read on. . . .

It was a dark and stormy …never mind.

Anyway, I shot the CAPE buffalo in Zambia in 1975 while on a vacation from working on the Alaskan pipeline.  On a trip through Bangkok later I stayed over night somewhere and returned to the camps.  One of my friends got excited and asked me, ” how did you like Bangkok?”  I said So-So.  He shouted at me that “I WAS GOING TO THE WRONG PLACES!!!!”.  He knew Bangkok from Vietnam.

Next trip I was at Pat Pong at 7 am and found the Texxan minutes later.  and George ..seconds later. He got me out of the Oriental Hotel (they were going to through me out anyway, as they didn’t approve of my local ‘guides’) and into the Rose where I stayed for the next 10 years when I was in town.  It was all down hill from there.  When the pipeline came to an end, I started a hot tub company in Ore. and Wash. state.  It was big time then.  I sent a cedar tub to Bangkok and George helped me find a funiture factory that would copy it in TEAK.   It was a great business until everything went to plastic spas. Thought it would never end..?.. Durning one of my ‘drunk’ days, I told George that I would send him a buffalo, for the bar, for helping me so much (with $ at times)..  Naturally, he thought it was an American bison…naturally, nobody thought much about anything in those days!

Off it went in 1979,  not knowing that it would have to be quarintined for a month even though it was long dead.  It cost George $300 US to get it cleared……this fee has been highly inflated over the years….but it makes a good story.  George took a liking to it and sat under it from then on.

At one time, I found a photo of someone with George”s build and a buffalo that was similar, and inserted George’s face.  It looked good, and hung on the wall until someone “borrowed” it forever.

And there you have it – straight from the source!

P.S. I looked in vain for a picture of the buffalo head. I feel sure I must have one, but if so, it’s not on either of my thumb drives, nowhere in this computer, nor is it in my camera card. Sorry about that.

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“Big” Ken L sent me a couple of photos of one of his Son’s passing out parade — that means graduating from his initial military training, not “passing out” as in falling over drunk! — this past August, and I’m finally remembering to post them. He also sent me a couple of his other’s son POP — nice acronym, huh? — in November this year, but of course I’ve filed those somewhere safe in my computer and can’t FIND them now! But I’ll keep looking. Here are the photos:

Ken L View of Passing Out Parade of One of His Sons in August, 2011 in Britain

Ken L with His Two Sons at Passing Out Parade for One in August, 2011 in Britain

I particularly like the one of Dad and Sons together — nice photo.

Ken has been in Bangkok this week, but just for a couple of days — I saw him, briefly, both Tuesday evening and wednesday afternoon, but not yesterday, when he was set to leave at midnight last night to head back to Merry Olde england for the holidays. He said he’ll be back early next year — and we all are looking forward to that visit. He’s univerally liked and always welcome in these parts.

Of course, given that he could take on a couple dozen of us and emerge the winner, it’s a darned good thing for us that we like him — and that he’s a nice guy!

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In the Unhappy News department, a few days ago Bangkok police identified ten areas in the capital they consider to be at risk during the holiday season; they apparently have creditable intelligence indicating some kind of possibility of bombings at various spots in the city, though I can’t find a list of all ten. I do know that the backpackers’ heaven of Khao San Road, the Victory Monument area, Central Plaza World (?) — the one where the New Year’s countdown takes place, anyway — and the Mon Chit Bus Station are all included. Just today a man they had in custody told them he had planted six explosive devices outside a bank on a nearby overpass in the Lat Khrabang area is the eastern outskirts of Bangkok, which they quickly located and defused. (That area isn’t near tourist and other entertainment areas in Bangkok proper — but it’s not far from Suvarnabhuni International Airport, Bangkok’s main one.)

Late note added about three hours after I first posted this: the bombs were at three locations, not just one. Worrisome.

You may recall there was a series of bombings at New Year’s a few years back, when, as I recall, three people were killed and many more injured (including eight foreigners injured, I think; don’t remember any foreigners getting killed) in various spots around town.

Most of those venues aren’t even on my personal radar anyway; I’ve never even been to some of them, including Khao San Road, which just doesn’t sound appealing to me. MORE bars and nightrclubs, or restaurants? There are at least 300-400 bars and nighrtclubs wiithin a mile of where I’m sitting (at home) anyway — why go all the way halfway to Nakhon Nowhere for more of the same???

But a great many tourists do go to them, as do many locals and foreign residents. If you’re among them, use caution, but you should do that anyway when strolling around in public places. I don’t mean to be alarmist — no one has been hurt or killed (and we’re all keepinbg our fingers crossed). I have no idea how the Bangkok police obtained their intelligence, but I, for one, sure am happy they did and even more happy they went public with it instead of keeping it to themselves. After all, considering the huge whammy tourism already suffered in the recent floods (as well as other sectors, of course), I might have been tempted to hold back releasing the information had I been the one having to make the decision. Heck, I debated writing this story, but decided I really should, since there are some people who read this and live here or will be visiting over the holidays, and some of them well might not read about this anywhere else. So there it is.

Heads up, radar on, folks — but enjoy yourselves, too.

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Apropos absolutely nothing, here’s something to bring a smile to your face, just for the heck of it:

And here’s solid photographic proof that Mr. Dog in the cartoon above isn’t arrogant after all: meet Lucky, the owneer of Khun Dave and his lovely wife, Khun Tuk, owners of the Hare and Hound in Washington Square –

 Lucky was a stray that Dave and Tuk took in awhile back and nursed back to health. When I took this picture, he wasn’t squirming around scratching his back — he was sleeping and perfectly motionless! All us customers spoil him rotten, too (of course).

I hope I come back as a Lucky in my next life!

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Haven’t finished you shopping yet? — Better get cracking, and be might darned quick-quick about it there, Lasses and Lads!

Whever you spend this holiday season, and however you spend it, I hope you have a happy one and that the New Year starts off perfectly for one and all. (I know, I know — I’m jumping the gun a bit, since its still nine days until Christmas day, but this is my very mostest favoritest time of the year, and I’m as bad as any kid every year!)

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Well, I’ve been working on this for over eight hours, so I think I’ll sign off for now.

Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

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As we draw ever nearer to the end of the year, a lot of uncertainty remains regarding just what’s in store for Washington Square — and even greater question about just when whatever’s going to happen will actually, finally, really, no joke come about.

Last week there were a few surveyors around, pointing and peering through their transits this way and that, and I wondered if they might be sizing up matters in advance of construction workers and euipment making their appearance. But then the surveyors went away. While neither I nor anyone else (as far as I know) has the slightest idea who the guys were working for, the purpose of their surveying, whether they’ll be back, etc.

I did hear a rumor this week from someone who identified it as a rumor, because my source didn’t know how reliable his source was. With that in mind, the rumor is that some owners have been told they’ll be offered either three- or six-month extensions into next year. I heard a similar rumor awhile back as well. But no owner has directly said anything like that to me.

Of course, the more pessimistic and conspiracy-minded folks will soon be worrying about trying to buy mountain-top plots of land — the higher the mountain the better — and getting some supplies to their planned survival plots in preparation for the end of the world.

“What on EARTH are you blathering about???” you ask? Tsk, tsk, tsk — either you have a short memory, or you don’t pay attention to the news. Don’t you know we’re doomed to oblivion come December 21, 2012? Didn’t you even see the movie “2012″??? Haven’t you heard that the mysterious Mayan “Long Calendar” ends on that date, and that that means it’s lights-out time come then???

Jeez. Anyway, according to those who spend their lives eagerly predicting or listening to fruitcakes predicting The End of the World, based on the Mayan calendar, that’s the date the game’s over and we’re kaput.

But you can rest your head easy, as that’s wrong. It’s not even a misreading of the calendar, according to experts, some of whom have just held another news conference to reassure people. The longest of several cycles the Mayans used for a variety of calendars simply ends, and they didn’t create the next one, for whatever reason. The calendar doesn’t say anything about the end of the world, only the end of the current long cycle. (They did have calendars for several long cycles previous to this one, proof positive to those dying to see the end — no pun intended.)

In any case, the linguistics folks say there’s a mark or word — I forget which — that appears elsewhere and in entirely different contexts that indicates the real, total, “that’s it” end of something — but that mark or word does not appear on the last calendar they carved. (I reckon the reason they didn’t make another is they were sick and tired of sitting around with hammers, chisels, and great big slabs of stone laboriously carving out calendars and decided to go fishing or something. Something like chasing beautiful, coy Mayan lasses through the jungles!)

Moving right along . . .

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By the way, Squaronians keen to observe the last perfect syzygy early tomorrow evening that will be visible (if the sky is clear) from about 7:06 P.M. until around 9:18 P.M. will need to be somewhere they have a clear view towards the eastern horizon or they’ll miss it. They also will need to go easy on the booze beforehand if they want to see it, at least accurately (or maybe at all!). And if they want to witness the possible and rare selenelion the pros say may be in the cards, they’ll need to be at that spot with a view to the east about 5:40 P.M.

“Whazzat???” you ask? Thought you’d never ask.

In this case, a syzygy involves tomorrow evening’s lunar eclipse. (That means the light on the Moon goes out, Helga.) “Syzygy” is the event when three objects in space happen to be in a perfect line, in this case the Sun, the Earth, and the Moon, with the Moon to one side of Earth and the Sun on the other. Further, tomorrow’s eclipse will be a total one, meaning the Moon will fall completely within Earth’s shadow for nearly an hour — from about 7:06 P.M. until about 7:57 P.M. Here’s how the Moon may look during totality, according to astronomers:

Moon During Total Eclipse 2003

The above picture is how the Moon typically looks during a total eclipse, and it’s both beautiful and eerie. I don’t care if you don’t give a hoot about stuff in the sky — I have yet to meet anyone who has seen a total eclipse and was anything other than awestruck. About the only astronomical event that’s more impressive is a total eclipse of the Sun, which is considerably rarer than ones of the Moon are, though they aren’t all that common.

Oh — that selenelion thingamajiggy. Celestial geometry says one’s not possible, but celestial geometry doesn’t take into account the bending, or refraction, of light in stuff like air and water. If you’ve ever stuck a straight stick into water, it looks bent, right? Light going through a prism comes out in a rainbow pattern — just like sunlight is visible in the different-colored arcs of a rainbow in the sky.

That’s what happens during a selenelion — the light from the Moon and Sun get “bent” by the Earth’s atmosphere, and though the two are on opposite sides of the Earth, and therefore geometrically impossible to see at the same time, it may happen that the Moon may appear to rise slightly early and the Sun appear to set slightly late — because their light is bent by the air and makes them visible at the same time.

Of course, Squaronians being Squaronians, some will get an early start — after all, it’ll be Saturday Night in the Big City when all this stuff happens — so may not care, if they accidentally happen even to remember. Or maybe they’ll actually try to get a quick glance at it, and if they’re lucky enough to still be able to even see the Moon at all, they may have the thrilling experience of seeing SEVERAL Moons being eclipsed, all at the same time!!!

Last note: when I first checked this stuff, I checked three sources — one of which put everything an hour earlier than I’ve written here. But that source is a popular one, while the other two are observatories, so I went with the professionals. I couldn’t find any source at all that specifically stated when the show will be for Bangkok or Thailand specifically, which meant I had to adjust for time zones, but that’s a straightforward matter. BUT — it’s always possible the other source is correct. Hope I’m not leading you astray — oh, wait; you’ll have already gone astray by then, at least you will have if your a true-blue, red-blooded Squaronian!!!

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Art C. from Canada, he of Maori War dance fame, has been in-country awhile now, but headed straight for Pattaya upon landing, bypassing the capital entirely. But he hit town — Bangkok, I mean — a few days ago, though I’ve yet to manage to cross paths with him. Several people have commented on his agelessness; I know that I’ve known him for years, he he always has looked the same as before. I’ve asked if he’s gotten to eat any of his “favorite street noodles,” but nobody knows, so if he has, I guess he’s keeping it to himself! Looking forfward to seeing him, preferably at a time when he’s lubed enough to be both willing and still able to perform his famous war dance so I can make a video of it! But I’ll have to catch him at just the right point — too early into his festivities time, and he’s all shy — but too late, while he’s still willing at that point, he’s a danger to himself if he tries to even walk quickly — never mind dance!

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Greg H., the lovely Khun Ae’s hubby — I’ve posted a picture or two of her here and on my Facebook page in recent weeks — and their just-turned-three son have been at the Silver Dollar the last couple of nights and I’ve had a chance to see them. Last night Greg, Ned, a good friend of Greg an Ae’s named John (a really nice American attorney who lives here I’ve met a few times before), and I sat around maybe three hours having a grand visit — leaving Ae and the Dan (?), their kid, to their own devices, but Ae spent time gobbling down street food and blabbing with the ladies, all of whom doted on Dan, which he liked, of course. (Even after more than 17 years, the sheer amount of food Thai ladies can cram down remains a constant source of wonder for me. I mean, they can eat the Thai street food equivalent of three double cheeseburgers, four large fries, two or three shakes or malts — and a couple of slices of pie or cake to round it off! And an hour later, they’re hungry again! And almost none of them ever get fat. . . .)

Anyway, everyone was fine. Greg is in town for a relatively short visit this time, as he’s headed back to the States next Saturday (next week, not tomorrow). Anyway, it’s good to see him and Ae — and Dan, since I haven’t seen him since he was just a baby. He’s really grown and is unusually tall for his age. Further, I hadn’t seen Ae in a year or better, so it was great to see her.

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Before I forget, I have to set the record straight about the Thanksgiving menu at Silver Dollar, which I posted in an earlier column and got great mirth from poking fun at Ned for spelling “cranberry” as “cranbury,” asking him if that’s a previously unknown suburb of Bangkok and exposing him to global laughter right here in that edition of this column.

Wrong guy.

Happened to bump into Johnny W., better known as “Johnny Jazz” for his  great love of jazz music in particular, and music generally (which makes sense, considering his entire career in the military in various Army bands). I told him the story, and he said, “Hm.”

Johnny has become very skilled at doing graphics work on computers, and it turns out, as he proceeded to tell me, that he had made the graphic and copied the mispelling himself — when he was supposed to also be wearing his editor’s hat. It went right past him. Having done a bunch of editing myself, and having had stuff get by me — especially errors I myself made — I sure do sympathize with him.

Actually, thinking back now, as I write, it occurs to me Johnny may have meant he’s the one who made the error in the first place. Oh, well — my point here is that Ned wasn’t the one I should have been ribbing, or at least not the main one.

Still — it was great fun!!! Heh-heh.

Mea culpa — !!!

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On December 5th, His Majesty the King’s 84th birthday — and on the traditional Chinese calendar, his 7th-cycle one — I took a stroll from home over to Soi 24, then walked up it snapping photos, continuing on Sukhumvit Road between Soi 24 and Benjasiri Park. Thought they might be of interest to you, especially those of places along Soi 24 you might not know are there, as I didn’t, in some cases, plus a few other odd shots. There are 22 in all. (Readers seem to like pictures and videos, so I plan to include more of those along the way.)

Oops. Sorry about the Moon shot again. My service allowed me to upload the whole shooting match — but I didn’t realize that when they say “whole,” they mean everything I’ve uploaded today! Anyway, there’s the entire gallery.

I tried to do this from home — for hours — but apparently my little notebook with its non-expandable 1GB RAM memory couldn’t do the trick, so I came to the Square to try on Ned’s computer. Got waylaid a bit, as I stopped by Square One and chatted with a few of the guys, including the increasingly-frequently Baron of Baron Bonk fame. And which leads to the next story.

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Went on to Silver Dollar and logged on, but I got distracted by various intriguing headlines and wandered off into the thicket of various outrageous, humorous, interesting, depressing, and various and sundry other types of news stories. (I’m easily distracted, but at least my interests range far and wide!)

Anyway, who should pop up but Kevin P. of Guam, whom I’ve not seen in a good long while. As he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, I sure was glad to see him, despite his being on a fairly tight timetable, limiting our time blabbing to about an hour or so. Actually, it wasn’t that he had anything to do other than sleep — he left Guam about 36 hours ago, hasn’t slept, and wanted to get back to his nearby hotel and get quickly and intimately acquainted with his bed.

Kevin’s a federal civil servant who’s stationed in Guam, the latest of his numerous far-flung foreign outposts standing for Flag and Country over the decades. (For my fellow Americans unfamiliar with our Oriental Jewel of a possession, Guam is exactly that — U.S. soil. Not a state, true, but an American possession for all that, and strategically important, particularly as we turn our focus back to the Asia-Pacific region. It’s nice to have an “aircraft carrier” covering about 213 square miles/544 square kilometers! Not to be confused with Gator Gulch or Guantanamo Bay!)

Anyway, Kevin’s in town for a nice vacation, along with a new and entirely unexpected appendage: he got married about nine months ago. (Sorry devil didn’t e-mail me, either, grump-moan-whine.) At 50, he thought he was a confirmed bachelor. But then he met a Thai lady who had immigrated to Guam and was working in her Aunt’s Thai restaurant there when he met her, and he was hooked. It helped that she already had a green card — no illegal alien here for the militias to go gunning for, particularly considering Kevin’s employer, one in a position to take care of any road bumps there.

She wasn’t with him tonight, as she was already getting acquainted with above-mentioned bed herself. But I sure hope to meet her before they have to wing their way back to that island paradise. Especially since she’s from Roi Et — which many Thais call “LA,” a reference actually to Hollywood and its starlets — as Roi Et has the reputation of being home to the most most beautiful ladies in Thailand. Me, well I guess I’m not discerning enough or something — I find ladies from all over the Kingdom stunning, and that’s no joke. They also have a reputation of being extremely nice, and the few I’ve known have certainly supported that take on the Flowers of Isaan.

Shoot. Something just occurred to me. Kevin has told me to “drop up” to Guam anytime I like in the past, something Ive never gotten around to doing, and maybe now he’ll beat me back with a long-handled shovel if I try.

Actually, I’ve thought of moving to Guam if I ever decide I’m just too weary of messing with foreign governments over visas and stuff. Guam is America, and I’m American, so no hassles there for me on that front.

In any case, it was great to see Kevin, and I’ll be looking forward to seeing him (and his wife) next time — hopefully, this trip.

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Dadgummit — left my pocket notebook on my desk at home with my notes about things I wanted to write about. so I guess I’ll close up shop for this time out. Hell, I’ve blathered upwards of 2,700 words anyway. But I’ll close on a happy note with another photo of the lovely Khun Pook, Khun Ott’s daughter who lives in Houston (which my British friends insist on calling “Hooseton”) managing the restaurant there. Yes! Ned and Ott run an international operation! — the Silver Dollar in The City of Angels, lately  competing to become the Atlantis of the Orient, The Moonshine in Jomtien, and Naam Khao Thai Restaurant in “Hooseton.” Look it up online and send her fan mail, and remind her I’m President of her fan club!

The Lovely Khun Pook, The Lady of Houston

And with that . . . good night.

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Enough for one go –

Mekhong Kurt

Comrades,

 Our Post Meeting will be this Saturday, 10 Dec at the JusmagThai Conference
Room at 11:00 AM.The most important items will be:
1. Purchasing your tickets for our Christmas Party on 17 Dec at the Windsor
Suites Hotel. This is your last chance to get the tickets at our special member
price.
2. Election of a new Trustee One Year.Comrade William Bobbitt has resigned from
this position.

 Unfortunately our meeting again falls on a 3 day weekend,Constitution Day, so
the Jusmag Cafeteria will be closed.Please have your caffeine fixes or
breakfast before the meeting. In the Christmas spirit, your Commander will be
bringing a 5L can of draft German beer for after the meeting.

YIC,
Arthur Key
Commander, Post 9951